Live From the Reels, It's 75!

"The best thing we can do is go on with our daily routine."

                                        -Nurse Mildred Ratched, after the suicide of Billy Bibbitt

On September 8, 1974, Gerald Ford granted Richard Nixon a pardon. This action caused the American public to be extremely skeptical moving forward with the Ford administration. It was just as corrupt as the Nixon administration. This echoed back to what young filmmakers were saying about the country in their films. It's all over Chinatown, a film representing the futility of good intentions. And it continued on into the next year. "In 1975, Chinatown is not Chinatown. Chinatown is America." as Rick Perlstein would say. 

June 20, 1975. The release of Jaws from wunderkind director Steven Spielberg. As the country was getting more serious, people started turning to adventure movies like Jaws. During the Great Depression, as people were standing in bread lines, the genre that doing well at the box office were musicals. Escapist entertainment. Jaws was budgeted at $4 million and went over budget to $9 million. It would go on to gross more than $100 million and become the highest grossing film in history. At least until 1977. 

The summer blockbuster was born. 

There is a gauge I usually use when I encounter a film fan. And that is whether or not they appreciate Steven Spielberg. While this metric does have nostalgia play into it- he was the first director whose style I'd unknowingly fall in love with- there is a certain type of 'cinephile' who views themselves above such mainstream fluff like Spielberg. They are usually found exclusively in the foreign film section. Now there is no denying the director has made his share of stinkers. Movies so saccharine you get tooth decay from all the sugar he pours over every scene. But when's he good, he's good. Kubrick wouldn't pick up the phone to have three hour conversations with him otherwise. Jaws is legitimately a great film. You can't place the blame at the foot of the filmmaker for ushering in the summer blockbuster and how it has devolved to what it is today. You place the blame at the foot of the executives who saw it as a business model going forward.  

For the 1976 show the nominees for Best Picture were Barry Lyndon, Dog Day Afternoon, Jaws, Nashville and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. The winner: the anti-authoritarian One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 

The show for 1975 which honored the films of 1974 showed just how stark the contrast was between old and new Hollywood. John Wayne, Frank Sinatra, Bob Hope, Sammy Davis Jr. were presenters. Dustin Hoffman would described the award shows as "beauty pageants that show the worst aspect of this country." 

Hearts and Minds would win Best Documentary Feature that evening. Producer Bert Schneider and director Peter Davis would receive the award. Schneider would read a message from Vietnam regarding recognition of their friends in America and "all they have done on behalf of peace." Backstage, John Wayne and Frank Sinatra confronted Schneider. Bob Hope insisted on a retraction from the Academy. Three weeks later, as the North Vietnamese surrounded Saigon, Armed Forces Radio played White Christmas which meant the evacuation of all Americans. 

On the fringes of what society considers 'good taste' (to hell with them), filmmakers like Russ Meyer and Radley Metzger were releasing some of their strongest works. Rocky Horror Picture Show premiered and would become the midnight movie event. There are still repertory houses that host sing-a-longs and Rocky Horror themed costumed parties. 

Beyond Hollywood, directors documented the turmoil in their respective countries. 

The eclectic mix wasn't just to be found in cinemas. It was all over the music scene. Black Sabbath released the final album in their 6-album streak which planted the seeds for heavy metal. Queen and Elton John continued bringing operatic theatricality to new heights. Prog rock, ambient and experimental music were still going strong and reaching new peaks. 

1. Queen- A Night At the Opera

2. Pink Floyd- Wish You Were Here

3. Bob Dylan- Blood On the Tracks

4. Brian Eno- Another Green World

5. Led Zeppelin- Physical Graffiti

6. Van Der Graaf Generator- Godbluff

7. Frank Zappa- One Size Fits All

8. Elton John- Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy

9. Black Sabbath- Sabotage

10. Patti Smith- Horses

FILMS

1. Dog Day Afternoon

Compulsively rewatchable. I continue to come back to this film because of it's energy. It has what is my favorite Pacino performance. It's constantly turning. Changing with each revelation.

2. Nashville

"A film can either put you to sleep nicely or wake you up and I'm interested in the wake you up part." 

So says the writer of Nashville, Joan Tewksbery. And with the direction of Altman, Nashville became a major wake up call. Art that colors outside the lines has always interested me. It's why I am so drawn to a film like Magnolia. There was no protagonist or antagonist of the picture. It was after I saw Magnolia, I wanted to find out the sources of inspiration. Short Cuts kept coming up. So, naturally I sought it out. Then I got to Nashville off Short Cuts. 

Every time I watch it it's like watching a new movie. There's just so much goddamn stuff in it! There are forces at the intersection of art and politics and this film captures them better than any other made. 

3. Welfare

"We going into a vicious cycle again and I'm getting tired of it."

Kafkaesque has been used to describe so many works of art that deal with the nightmare of bureaucracy. Here is a film that deserves the title. Every sequence is dense with layer and meaning as Wiseman cuts to the marrow of the welfare system. Nobody gets helped in the entire picture. 

Wiseman's world is a nightmare where rules, regulations and pieces of paper have a higher order of reality than the people they pertain to. The profound disconnect between reality and proven reality causes an aura an anger to hang over every interaction in the film. 

Even in terms of form, there is a constant tension between fiction and reality. All the people we see here feel like characters straight out of fiction yet their situations go on longer than they would in a film. If you know of a better documentary, go to the sixth floor. If it's closed, then please come back tomorrow. 

4. Jaws

In the song Indiscipline by King Crimson, Adrian Belew sings "No matter how I take it apart, no matter how I break it down, it remains consistent." I think of that lyric when I watch Jaws. The Jaws Log by Peter Gottlieb is a required text for anyone who likes the film or just wants to learn about how to make a film. It discusses how the movie was made from every arena possible. The now iconic score by John Williams. The editing by Verna Fields which, if one frame was added or subtracted dictated the difference between a fake looking shark and a real looking shark. The unmatched chemistry of the three leads in Schieder, Dreyfus, and Shaw.  The way Spielberg does the oner on the boat while Brody is talking to the mayor. There are dozens of more things I can list off. I would be remiss if I didn't bring up my favorite part of the film which is the USS Indianapolis speech. 

In a film with beat after beat of genuine character moments, Quint's speech never fails to do a number on me when I watch it. The way Shaw delivers makes you believe he was there. In the biggest movie of the year, the crown jewel of it all is a scene where three guys are sitting down and sharing battle scar stories. No big set pieces. No flashbacks. Just great storytelling. And that right there is the difference between Spielberg and the people who think they are Spielberg. 

5. Barry Lyndon

One of the random facts about this movie is it's Brian Eno's favorite film of all time. This tracks because it plays like one of his ambient albums come to life. 

His other films tend to overshadow this one. The photography here is the metric all other period pieces should be measured against. The ascent and descent of the O'Neal's character matched by the shift from flippant comedy to hopeless collapse comes without warning. Just as Lyndon is unprepared for responsibility. 

6. Mirror

Tarkovsky's most autobiographical film. His ability to immerse the viewer into the texture of a scene is equaled only by Lynch. There is a hypnotic quality to his work and Mirror perhaps showcases this best. A man undergoes a spiritual crisis as he recollects moments from his childhood. There's no framing device. No hand holding. Just the viewer left to piece the fragments of the director's psyche in real time. 

7. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

The performances by Jack, Louise and Brad all stand out here but what keeps me coming back to its padded walls and white interiors is the ensemble. Everyone feels authentic. When you have a cast this good, it is the director's movie to blow it. Thankfully, Forman exceeds. 

8. Jeanne Dielmann

The whole thing is an experiment. A trapeze artist balanced precariously on a string for over 3 hours. I saw one review of it saying it has as much action as Die Hard. This is the genius of the film. By stretching out time through routine, we pick up any details added. Any difference from the first time we see Jeanne go through doing something to the second time causes tension. 

9. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

A go to the movie when I just want to sit down for some nonsensical laughter. Part of the charm of the Monty Python is the troupe taking high art from high society and cutting it all down to size through absurdity. This is the best example of that. It gleefully deconstructs the Arthurian legend. 

10. Deep Red

As much as I enjoy the "animals" trilogy, they were a warm- up for Deep Red. In particular, his theme of the unreliability of memory from Bird With the Crystal Plumage. Everything clicks into place. His mastery of giallo, the Goblin score, and the camerawork. From here, Argento is unstoppable. Well, until 1987. 

11. Grey Gardens

Sure, there's hang out movies. But what about hang out documentaries? The Maysles allow this beautiful alchemy to simmer as we spend time with Big Edie and Little Edie. Just give this a watch and you'll be doing a dance with an American flag in no time. 

12. Salo, or the 120 Says of Sodom

Sandwiched between a copy of Cannibal Holocaust and A Serbian Film in some edgelord's library is this movie. Bandied about in circles of teenagers who view it as a dare; all political and social context stripped away and reduced down to "the movie where people are forced to eat shit." 

In an essay on the film, writer Gary Indiana observes, "Everything that happens in Salo is stylized, mechanized, prescribed and proceeds "by the book." The catalog of often physically impossible sexual combinations and maniacally complicated tortures it (Sade's 120 Days of Sodom) comprises would send the staunchest viewer running from the theater-or, obversely, put even the most enthusiastic viewer to sleep. Pasolini extracted the basic structural design of this novel and fleshed it out with an incongruous elegance and a certain trickster's tact."

By extracting this structural design of not just Sade's work but Dante's Nine Circles of Hell, Pasolini, an avowed Marxist, created a work which takes us on a tour of revulsion through 1944 fascist Italy. This depiction would cause numerous outcries and censorship. 

Shortly after its premiere, Pasolini would be abducted, tortured and murdered at Ostia in November 1975. The likeliest culprits being the Banda della Magliana, a criminal organization with links to far-right terrorism. I watched this on the night Donald Trump took office for the 2nd time because I couldn't find any other movie more fitting. 

13. ThunderCrack!

It's a 3- hour arthouse horror porn. One reviewer likened it to the hateful horror of Andy Milligan's The Ghastly Ones, the filth-is-my-life shock of Pink Flamingos and the winking camp of Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Eminently quotable dialogue, gorgeous photography and tasteless sex abound.

14. Love and Death

You could divide his filmography up into two categories: slapstick and serious. This particular film is the best starting point for his slapstick. It tackles all of his high-minded interests and melds them with his trademark neurotic humor. 

Woody sums it all up at the end: "Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations like poetry and philosophy. But the body has all the fun." 

15. Night Moves

"Who's winning?"

"Nobody. One side just loses more slowly."

A year after Chinatown, Arthur Penn managed to come close with his take on neo noir. The film has two strengths: Gene Hackman's performance and Dede Allen's impeccably timed editing that climaxes into one of the most terrifying ending sequences in any noir. She would edit Dog Day Afternoon the same year. 

16. Fox and His Friends

Fassbinder's first depiction of gay life. Economic fate and emotional fate are intertwined to become one in the same. The director knew that such bleakness would make for either a black comedy or an abject tragedy. The line between the two is very short as he proves here. 

This was Fassbinder's twenty second film made when he was twenty-nine. Think about that then think about the quality of films he made before it and the quality of the films after and you get an inkling on what a giant of cinema this guy was. 

16. Lips of Blood

If ever asked the question: where do I start with Jean Rollin, I will point to this. It's not my favorite but it manages to encapsulate the fundamentals. Vampires? Check. Atmosphere for days? Check. Magnificent sets? Check. 

17. Manila In the Claws of the Light

Lino Brocka, the most acclaimed filmmker to hail from the Philipines, documents his city of Manila as a dog-eat-dog world. Steeped in social realism, the film showcases the grittiness of urban life as poverty takes hold of its most vulnerable. 

The ending definitely had an inspiration on Taxi Driver so if you like that movie, watch this. 

18. Dersu Uzala

Some of Kurosawa's best work has been from adapting Russian source material. Dersu Uzala sees him take the Russian inspiration to the point of moving out of his homeland. Kurosawa hit rock bottom depression before this movie and making it so soon after shows his conviction in people. In the characters, he finds his own anxieties reflected when the studios were becoming increasing conservative and averse to risk taking. 

More refined than his first color picture, Dodes'ka-den, he would make five years prior, but not quite as eye-poppingly gorgeous as Kagemusha or Dreams, Dersu Urzala is an unsung work in the sensei's career. 

19. Footprints On the Moon

Every genre has its weak entries. Every subgenre has its weak entries. There are two subgenres in particular where this is readily apparent: the slasher and the giallo. If I had to list out ten examples of when the giallo is done right, Luigi's Bazzoni's 1975 effort would make the cut. It succeeds because its conventions are nebulous and its mood is ethereal. The film is able to achieve such moodiness due to it being built around memory and how images work. 

20. A Haunted Turkish Bathhouse

Eroticism, pinku violence, and brothel-cum-bathhouse soapy sex mayhem are just a handful of the things this feline flick has to offer. I love cats. I love revenge flicks. Kazuhiko Yamaguchi combines both.

21. Supervixens

One of the more misunderstood or just plain underrated artists is Russ Meyer. Whenever his name comes up, he's described as "the Big Breasts guy." OK. So that is true. But there's so much more to him. An abundance, if you will. The way he frames his shots for example. 

The main character here is constantly thwarting the advances of an array of robust women and the whole tone of the movie feels like a live action cartoon. 

22. Smile

A scathing indictment on traditional Americana in the wake of Vietnam and Watergate. It's a satire about how the pursuit of the American Dream has crippled an entire small town and negatively affected the values of contestants in a beauty pageant, beating Drop Dead Gorgeous 24 years to the punch. 

Smile came out in the same year as Nashville and while it hits a number of the same satirical notes, it still remains a film that is slept on. Easily one of the top 5 Bruce Dern performances. 

23. Three Days of the Condor

I always think of the office massacre when I think about this movie. It's become a Christmas staple and with the passing of Robert Redford earlier this year, it made this year's viewing bittersweet. 

24. Race With the Devil

A veritable grab-bag of a movie with all the stuff in the grab-bag being to my liking: Satanic cults, car chases, insane stunts, post-Watergate conspiracy/paranoia and Warren Oates. 

25. The Image

"There are too many thorns. You simply have to get scratched."

A beautifully shot Sadean- read diary of Parisian punishment and pleasure, bejeweled blindfolds and perfumed asses. There's an intensity and sheer meanness here that Radley Metzger was able to achieve that other films of this period and genre could not. 

26. Hard Times

A fantastic debut that kicks off one of the great director streaks. Everything Walter Hill does from here thru 1984 is gold. 

27. Switchblade Sisters

Jack Hill balances humor and exploitation while taking his characters seriously. A film about women breaking free of their bonds and going out on their own. There's a reason why he's considered the Howard Hawks of exploitation filmmakers. 

28. Death Race 2000

Paul Bartel cut his teeth on 1972's Private Parts which more or less could be considered a calling card film. Death Race 2000 allows him to cash it all in. This New World-era Corman production would showcase just how talented Bartel in not just action but humor. 

29. Mother Kusters Goes to Heaven

An uncomfortably black comedic look at the way people and political groups exploit personal tragedies for their own gain. Brigitte Mira, hot off Ali Fear Eats the Soul, stars as the titular Emma Kusters, and turns in another acting showcase. 

 

30. Report to the Commissioner

Billy Friedkin said a chase scene is pure cinema. There are two in here. One of them involves Bob Balaban and the way it plays out is something I've never seen in a movie before. A film like this is proof that however many good (and bleak) crime films of the 70's you think you've seen, there's always another hidden in the shadows, waiting to be discovered. "They is them and we is us. And that's the way it is."

The best movies of the 2020s, so far: The Surplus

   I'd originally planned to post one of these once a day, then it became at least one a week, then came doubt that I could even do one a month cuz life happens; man plans, God laughs. In defiance of God's will I'm compromising by consolidating everything into one post (I also have been trying to revisit a few here and there). Thankfully, there's so much to cover - almost overwhelming how many good movies have come out this decade.

 SINNERS

  Like The Batman in 2022, talking about Sinners is kind of impossible. Everything that can be said has already been said over and over because its popularity and good will is overwhelming. If you stick your head up and try to offer anything, you're just another soundwave arch in the mountainous cacophony and your voice will probably be an unintended plagiarism of echoes.

  I do want to point out that it's neat how Remmick is Irish so there's-- no, it's already been said.

  But I could say that it's great how Michael B. Jordan plays two ro-- lol, that was the first thing everyone pointed out.

  Oh! The generational music sequence is a work of-- really? Stop.

  I know: I love the fact that Coogler used squibs. So many movies—this year alone—have foolishly relied on cgi blood and it annoys the fuck out of me (The Monkey, Final Destination: Bloodlines, Toxic Avenger). I appreciate that Coogler used corporeal red goo spraying everywhere; haven't seen anyone talk about that yet. Or! The fact that Remmick and Sammie's dynamic turns the magical negro trope inside out. To Remmick, Sammie exists solely to help him reconnect with his family. And, saddled with the guilt his father put on him about the devil following him, Sammie would have caved if it weren't for his [found] family protecting and preventing him. Hell, who's to say if Sammie's magic would have even worked if he'd been turned into a vampire? Coogler's characterization of Sammie is so thorough as he doesn't let Remmick's myopia define him; a lesser movie would. And that's why so much has been said about this movie because it's simultaneously thoughtful, artful and highly entertaining.

  Everything positive you've read about it (and its soundtrack) is true: a real-life crowdpleaser that more than earns its reputation.

  EEPHUS

  A deliciously fizzy hangout movie that has so many odd twists of lemon; funny and wholesome but also acerbic and sad. It hits even better on rewatch, like adding new condiments to a second hotdog. This is also the kind of movie that never compromises its initial set-up no matter what, barreling forward with defiant formal fortitude. Every moment of drama, comedy, catharsis and/or poignancy are deliberately unforced. Hell, the whole premise pointedly negates any conventional inclination to root for an underdog: everyone is equal. There's no moustache-twisting villain to hate because the reckoning for this beloved diamond is in the form of—checks notes— the construction of a middle school to help reduce the commute for local children. You even get the sense that the characters almost wish they were in a movie, so that this final game would be 'worth it' for them. Throw in the ticking-clock element and all the fun is undercut by an unending tension of the narrative denying their wish fulfillment but, at the same time, it reinforces its verisimilitude.

  THE FABELMANS

  Totally knocked on my ass by how confrontational and honest this is. Spielberg, via Judd Hirsch, grabs us and tells us he has an addiction and it's one that all artists have, like an inherent defect. It's such a wild moment because it's set up like a wholesome 'old-man-gives-sage-advice-to-a-young-protegé' scene when it's more of a harsh warning by a weathered cynic. Hell, it even sort of validates a spooky scene of prophetic delusion as his Mom says she was warned by her dead Mother that something terrible was coming. I also didn't expect to be reminded of Blow Out as Spielberg uses the tools of cinema to uncover the 'conspiracy' of his Mom's apparent infidelity. Then there's that^ moment of him in the mirror showing us just how dependent he becomes on his art just like his Uncle said he would.

  Absolutely none of these and other weird, thorny elements (like the borderline Oedipal scene of Sammy filming his Mother's sensuous headlight dance, where her dress is practically translucent) could have been predicted. The experience is a kind of shock to the system that almost equips the viewer to actively crave the typically saccharine Spielberg schmaltz. He even gives a kind of explanation as to why he leans on populist romance: it's a coping response. He just...can't help himself. This kind of autobiographical criticism impressed the Hell out of me, not to mention its incredibly sly, but playful, final shot. (David Lynch also kills it as John Ford)

  KAJILLIONAIRE

  A very pretty and refreshingly earnest movie about arrested development, the allegory of the cave, unconditional love, and how vital nurturing is. As a tragicomic character study of a woman learning to live authentically after being raised to scam it operates as a kind of inverse of Red Rooms (one of the funniest frames this decade is a shot of space with the subtitle 'your brain is in your tits' floating in the stars). I also love how unpredictable it is thanks to a mostly plotless script. Evan Rachel Wood gives the best performance of her career and Richard Jenkins (always great) somehow does the same. Miranda July's usual quirk shines through and with this one, more than her other work, feels like a Wes Anderson movie with a full-blooded pulse.

  KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON

  Makes me especially sore that this one is being relegated to a short blurb instead of its own individual post as it's too dense, ambitious, tragic and contradictory to merely sum up here. Wisely changed from the 'whodunnit' aspect of the book to an adamantly matter-of-fact look from within, Scorsese dissects the clogged aortas of America's poisoned heart. If I wasn't queasy I was fidgeting from the festering chills, my lip almost constantly curled upward. But this isn't misery porn, shockingly, because it's so reflective. Along the way Scorsese asks if he's committed artistic malpractice by even telling this story. And since this is a movie about complicity, evil, and the silent continuum of erasure it serves as a surprising thematic knot while also denying the audience a proper ending since there wasn't one for the Osage people; "there were no mention of the murders" being the final line of the movie just adds to the 3-hour dysphoria. Taking the time to include himself in a metatextual coda about authorship is such a bold act of self-examination that simultaneously sobered me and bewildered me.

  Soraya Roberts: "This is not a film about the Osage, but a film about settler America’s relation to the Osage, and, more largely, to the world. Specifically, it’s a film about a country’s colonialist, exploitative, violent, destructive, patriarchal subjugation of the world. This is a story of white America, as Scorsese has always been eager to tell. And just as Scorsese could not tell the Osage story, the Osage couldn’t quite tell this one."

 RRR

  Another story about the history of white supremacist imperialism but it's the diametric opposite of Killers Of The Flower Moon; where Scorsese opted for something subdued and, at times, quiet, this is pure uncut maximalist filmmaking. It's 3 hours long, highly stylized, cartoony, brutal, heart crushing, and just fucking running up and through and in every kind of eye-bugging image it can in the Dudes Rock canon. It even invites cliche lines like "just when you think it's topped itself, it does something new" because it really does that shit. It's equal parts buddy-cop action and a sprawling story about resisting against violent oppression that spans decades. I swear it takes an hour [or damn near close to it] to get to the full title card as it makes its personality known with two[!!] prologues. I'm exhausted just thinking about it and also nostalgic for this scene, that scene, etc. I stocked up on commas for this thing: all the shootouts, dance numbers, chases, wire work, and fight scenes to whet the largest appetite for action movie gluttons who are realism-intolerant. Eat up.

ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER

  This isn't just tactile entertainment, it's refreshing to see P.T. go outside of his comfort zone and make something so intentionally modern. Dismissive cowards, like his contemporary Quentin Tarantino and especially newbie Robert "No Cars Or Cell Phones" Eggers, resign themselves to the past. In turn, they reveal a lack of imagination and initiative. P.T. reworked Vineland specifically to liberate himself from the Oldhead Unc stereotype in favor of sentimental optimism about Gen Z, while his eccentricities flow undiluted. This is just as big-hearted and perverse as anything else he's made: no fear, like Tom fucking Cruise. The last act car chase (and its fallout) is some of the best filmmaking he's done in his career; in another universe we got his Mission: Impossible movie and it made $1,073,872,627 dollars. P.T.'s knack for sparking idiosyncratic characters and matching them to pitch-perfect actors remains combustible, especially in the case of Teyana Taylor as Perfidia Beverly Hills. Even with limited screentime she's one of the most striking, potent, challenging, and layered characters he's ever written. She is the endocrine system of the film; every decision anyone in the ensemble makes comes back to her. Her absence leads to the best line in the movie, where Bob tells Sensei how he doesn't know how to do Willa's hair. Just incredible stuff all-around because, while Leo is firing off in every direction, Benecio Del Toro does some of his most understated acting as he responds so affectionately, "Don't go dark on me, Bob." Sensei is the kind of role that only someone as skilled and seasoned as Del Toro could pull off because it might seem like he's underplaying it but he's just expertly riding the line so that he doesn't overplay it.

  Like Christopher McQuarrie, Ryan Coogler, Jordan Peele, and especially Chris Nolan, P.T. Anderson is striving to make blockbusters great again.

  And this is what I mean when I say surplus cuz I can barely fucking keep up; Ridley Scott isn't seeing enough movies if he's bitching that "everything is shit." Even if I agreed with him I'd have to say that he's actively contributing to the problem, thus he's a hypocrite. He really thinks Napoleon or House Of Gucci are superior to any other modern movies? Or is he just resigned to make shit? Typical old man lose-lose. Do yourself a favor and look up what Paul Thomas Anderson said about movies in 2025 and look into his contributions to Napoleon...

  I can't even finish this surplus post because there's too much to cover, there'd have to be a Part 2 or 3, so I'm nipping it in the bud now. So many movies from this decade have made the list and so many more could very likely make the list on rewatch. There are more bad movies being made but there aren't less good movies out there because of it. There are hundreds of movies per year that I miss and end up in my queue. Thus there are nearly 500+ movies I haven't seen from 2020-2025, so could I even make a blanket statement like "movies suck now" without telling on myself? If I don't engage with the material then I can't speak on its quality, that would be arrogant, near-sighted, and presumptuous of me. Plus, considering there's so much I haven't seen, that's yet to come, that means there's hundreds more. I'll agree that the American film industry is the worst it's ever been but cinema as a medium is very healthy (and young), that should be reassuring so long as one isn't dismissive or incurious. When anyone proclaims "movies suck now" but they skip every other movie that comes out, I just assume they don't like movies.

THE SURPLUS (NO ORDER)

Soft & Quiet

On Becoming A Guinea Fowl

Titane

Better Man

The Vast Of Night

Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets

Rebel Ridge

Reflection In A Dead Diamond

The Mastermind

Civil War

Sorry, Baby

A Quiet Place: Day One

Godzilla: Minus One

Catch The Fair One

Kinds Of Kindness

The Hunt

Fallen Leaves

Train Dreams

Hard Truths

Bacurau

The Killer

Tár

May Decembe

Malignant

Decision To Leave

The Banshees Of Inisherin

The Holdovers

Marty Supreme

Challengers

Knock At The Cabin

Nickel Boys

Gretel & Hansel

Mad God

The Kid Detective

Bones And All

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Presence

How To Blow Up A Pipeline

Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made

Red Rocket

Flow

i'm thinking of ending things

Shin Ultraman

Oct. '25

 Anguish ★★★★★

  Eye love this movie. Plays like Brian DePalma's New Nightmare as an almost unbearably tense metanarrative that asks what it means to be a spectator of horror (and how creepy movie theaters can be). There's no moralizing or easy answers by the end [thankfully], just a sweaty daze from the dizzying, hypnotic trip this movie inflicted on me. I can't go into much without spoilers (seriously, go in as blind as possible [no pun intended lol]) but I also don't want to reduce it all to a list of commas and adjectives. One of the great underseen masterpieces of the '80s.

  Spree ★

  Smug, sauceless trash until the very end where its admittedly sharp thesis reveals why this was even made in the first place, which makes it feel like a tiktok Trojan Horsed inside of a movie; everything else is a riot of misses. Joe Keery is better than this. 

  Watch Deadstream instead.

  Carnival Of Souls ★★★★½

 "I want the dead to be dead, forever, and I want to be one of them. Except, of course, you can't be one of them. You can't be one of the dead because that which has no existence has no community."

Cormac McCarthy, The Sunset Limited

  Probably the most gorgeous movie in this post; every composition and lighting choice is arresting, much like having sleep paralysis. Covers an entire spectrum of discomfort: starts off like a phantom bruise, ramps up to the scratchy vibration of a tattoo gun, before becoming an unassailable sewing machine. And, in one particularly startling jumpscare, a nailgun. But aside from how unnerving it is, there's fun in parceling out how influential it was (I saw wisps of Mulholland Drive, Sixth Sense, It Follows and Final Destination all throughout). Soderbergh's Presence came to mind during the tensest stretch, where she's targeted by a predatory boarding mate across the hall. Every single exchange between the two is draining because, just like Soderbergh's movie, the ghostly hauntings are exacerbated by a real person who's capable of immediate harm...and he's not taking the hint nor blunt fucking honesty. Scored with an almost nonstop organ score which not only compliments the thick atmosphere but becomes a comfort after suffocating scenes of silence. She'll go from normal existence to somewhere between existing and not existing at the same time. No one can see or hear her and she's rendered existentially deaf. Not sure what's scarier: being alive and having no one to relate to, or being dead and having to still exist. Her dysphoric contradictions wore me down until the merciful closing credits.

The Bride Of Frankenstein ★★★★★

  Oh... okay, so this is a Classic for a reason. Or, many reasons, in fact. Wow. Absolutely loved every second: Astounded by the effects, gleefully taken aback by the humor, and woefully unprepared for how profound it manages to be. I actually watched this after a rewatch of Young Frankenstein so I wasn't anticipating it to be so funny on its own. It's incredibly silly at times and that matches perfectly with its somber moments (like the praying scene). Elegant—but firm—in its tragedy, especially the effective ending where it demands that you recontextualize the title altogether. Even if this wasn't a great movie on its own, it has a hail-mary failsafe in Elsa Lanchester. She has only 3 minutes of screentime, right at the end, as The Monster's Mate but she weaved 90 years' worth of infamy out of them. It's easy to see why: every little tic, tilt, hiss, and twitch astounded me. Her saucer eyes are wild and her stare penetrating while there's also a deeply sad emptiness behind it all; truly remarkable acting and a movie to match.

 In The Dark ★★★★½

   I tried watching Halloween on streaming but the colors were unexpectedly muted, just out of the blue (like, there was much less blue than I remember). I checked another movie, it was fine, I checked the settings on my tv, they were fine. So I put Halloween back on and, yeah, it was washed out. Turns out the 4k restoration is what's on streaming and I found out that, in the process of making old footage 4k, it's much easier if the image is desaturated. So, I missed out on Dean Cundey's chilly blues and luscious yellows but I could see Donald Pleasance's pores! Rejoice! YouTube has even been using generative A.I. to upscale creators' media (without their knowledge) and streaming services have been 'experimenting' with it. In attempts to make images look 'better' they ended up making them absolutely fucking ugly.

  People need to disabuse themselves of the notion that crispness = quality. As long as one has an understanding of cinematic grammar and prose, the overall fidelity of the image doesn't really matter. In The Dark is a testament to this; dark, sludgy shot-on-video horror that leans into its cheapness, to great effect. A sly character study lead by the immensely talented Kim Garrett as Jane, a librarian tempted into a simmer that becomes a tormented boil by the end, it reminded me of Red Rooms, but much more explicitly horror. This is her only film role but she's utterly magnificent, capturing the totality of Jane's determination toward deterioration (caving to o temptation). Shot in b&w until a deliberately jarring and perverse use of color (in found-footage) shakes its foundations, before tossing us back into b&w forever. The whole movie is filled with images and implications that will probably never leave my brain (barring dementia or a severe head injury). The lo-fi night shots are especially effective because the inky video artifacts make us see things that aren't even there. Perfectly paced and structured, this is a perpetually tightening odyssey of degradation and disempowerment. And the ending is so fucking defiantly blunt that it infuriated me but I also respect it immensely.

  The Mangler ★★

  Oh, no! I think I've found my way to the lower tier Tobe Hooper movies! I've been riding pretty high on the Hooper hype train, as a huge fan of TCM and The Poltergeist, but over the past few years Salem's Lot, Invaders From Mars, Eaten Alive, and The Funhouse had me in full groupie mode. The Mangler sobered me up: Robert Englund gives the same performance in every scene. He ends up feeling less like a menacing bastard and more of a sitcom boss; Roseanne could dress him down with ease. And his performance matches his role in the story as, yet again, nothing develops. Every single fucking thing about him—and in his orbit—is flat. That said, Ted Levine's performance as John Hunton is the saving grace of this movie: every time it cut back to him I would perk up. He feels like he's in a different movie altogether as he and his brother-in-law (as well as the crime scene photographer, the movie's most interesting and underdeveloped aspect) are idiosyncratic and feel like people with interiority. He's such a shaggy, sloppy dog of a detective. His brooding is unromantic, he's devoid of swagger, his charisma is weary like it's been pickled in sarcasm, and all of this is poisoned by neuroticism. But he does love and lean on his brother-in-law, which gives both of them a peculiar charm. Their investigation and the gradual sanding-down of John to accept the supernatural, is compelling in a desert of rote plotting. The scene where he releases the ghosts from the icebox on the front lawn, while spectators stare in horror, reminded me of Poltergeist; easily the best scene. But the ending is like a bad Tales From The Crypt episode. I can say with a fair amount of confidence that if Larry Cohen had taken this on, it'd be significantly better — at the very least it'd be memorably campy.

  The Infernal Cauldron ★★★

  I thought this was funny. When he jumped into the cauldron I laughed! Runtime: 2 minutes

  Without Warning ★½

  Cameron Mitchell dies after the first five minutes (if that?) so I should have seen that for the red flag it was. And said opening was pretty nuts: he's conflicted about murdering his failson just cuz he's annoying, pointing his rifle at him twice, which is fucking funny. Oh, then they're both killed by fleshy discs. From there we're stuck with softheaded characters and an inconsistent plot about a veteran battling his PTSD. The alien effects are cool and the last five minutes are pretty neat! But getting there was a drain. The humor, intended or not, is nowhere to be found. So I can't even enjoy it ironically. Feels like proto-Predator (derogatory).

  The Out There Halloween Mega Tape ★★★★

  The WNUF Halloween Special hits so well as a night-time watch in October, especially on Halloween, but the Mega Tape is best experienced on a Saturday morning. I first watched it about two weeks into October and I enjoyed it but it wasn't until I watched it again on the morning of November 1st that it really sprung to life. Thanks to a wise time-jump and a temperamentally new approach, this isn't a cheap attempt to recapture the magic of the first one (though it definitely does with its advertisements and PSAs). Chris LaMartina takes the same skeleton (kitschy pastiche of commercialized American Halloween nostalgia) and he does away with the faux homespun charm of the '80s and leans onto the pseudo-edgy cynicism of the '90s. He seems to know that we're anticipating another violent twist ending like WNUF had so he steers us in the other direction. With a Ricki Lake/Jerry Springer-type daytime talk show that's fueled by incredulity and scandal, we're far from the spooky atmosphere of WNUF and leaning hard into complete absurdity...which made me more suspicious.

  There's nothing explicitly suggesting malice but, because of the first one being about how people snapping is far scarier than anything supernatural, there's a tension to watching people tick on The Ivy Sparks Show. But then the tape switches up with another time-jump and we're onto an alien exposé. Here the U.S. military seems to be in place of Christian extremists as our hosts edge closer and closer into breaching the base for an inside scoop. Aliens are teased but they're just like the ghosts in The Webber House: misdirection. It isn't until the ending that it becomes very obvious what LaMartina has been setting up and I felt like Charlie Brown trying to kick a football; I should have seen it coming but now I'm on my back. And the very, very end has a punchline so dark that it had me wide-eyed and hysterical. So while it's not scary like the first, it's much funnier. Bring on a third one.

  Good Boy ★★★★½

  In the words of Terry Bruge-Hiplo: I didn't see the ending because I was crying too much. Some have called Good Boy "manipulative" and "gimmicky" but 1) every movie is manipulative, that's kind of the director's job, it's all about how good they are at getting away with it. 2) Yeah, it's absolutely gimmicky but it's an effective gimmick that's executed well; a testament to the power of the Kuleshov Effect with an ingenious use of perspective. We have what's, on paper, a one-dimensional protagonist: he's infinitely likable and devoid of flaws. BUT...he's also incredibly vulnerable and I'd go so far as to say he's fascinating. Every single bit of danger, either obvious or implicit, triggers breath-holding tension.

  His 'performance' is tricky to navigate because it's also... real. He isn't performing, technically. He's taking direction and doing trained commands but his facial expressions are not from Acting. So because those gears are really turning, it further blurs the artifice of the filmmaking. What's also interesting is how we're deprived of human expressions. We hear plenty of people talking but there are only two shots of people's faces that aren't on another screen (i.e. phone or TV). The predominant focal point is deliberately canine as we stay at low medium shots or close-ups (one extreme close-up of an eyeball features a superb jumpscare). The lighting is smart as it's only diegetic sources within the frame, which makes the lack of light in negative space more effectively eerie. As far as the character goes he almost plays a detective, following scents and digging up clues. But there's tension to this as I just wanted him to suppress that curiosity because it meant inevitable risk and harm. What's funny is I was ready to forgive (and defend) any 'dumb' decisions he made, for plot momentum, but he's got great survival skills so the tension is never cheap. It's almost like the gimmick paid off...

Spontaneous Combustion ★★★

  Oh shit, I might actually be scraping the bottom of the Hooper barrel here; even when I like something it's only mild. When Brad Dourif is your lead you definitely have a leg up and he's easily the best part of this. The first act is stellar and actually startled the fuck out of me; in the same way that quicksand was a priority of resting terror to most millennial kids for some reason, so was the concept of spontaneous combustion to me. Hooper tapped into something dormant for me and the effects are transcendentally gnarly. Dourif sells the sweaty, trembling, wild-eyed fright, pain and fury, just as he did in Exorcist III the same year (wow, fucking Hell, he's the best hahaha).

  Unfuckingfortunately...convoluted plotting and revelations framed as cheap twists smother what should have been an otherwise roaring tragedy. The ending brings it back around but that mid-section is a stamina void that makes the ending feel a tad too little too late. It was fine.

  Fingers crossed for Lifeforce.

  The Toxic Avenger ★★½

  Oh, I wanted to like this more. It's ugly as sin (but not in an interesting way) and feels blatantly edited down despite its Unrated flex, so it clanks and bangs awkwardly; there's no oil in its joints! I admire its spirit as it got more than a few chuckles out of me, not to mention two very big laughs, and I've been quoting it ever since. It's also very open-hearted and charming as it's evident that Macon Blair clearly loves these characters and the gags he came up with are truly inspired. Peter Dinklage's casting is also an ingenious gamble that pays off because he has great comic timing while also being effortlessly affable; every note is hit with perfection. But...again...almost like how people feel about Toxie, I just can't stand to look at this movie with its colors and luminance blown-out by high contrast (and the cgi blood doesn't help). Kevin Bacon is also just playing every other Evil Kevin Bacon role (like last year's turn in Axel F) with the faintest hint of something weirder. The climax is a mess of tedium and there's an unneeded twist and...ugh. I want so badly to be on this movie's side because I see what it's trying to do and, if it had pulled it off, I'd be so in love with it. Especially since the original is dimwitted F-tier filth. Full Moon Features > Troma

Harvest Brood ★½

  Great use of locations initial handle on atmosphere but grasp is lost. Mood too. Sound is spotty. Cop a cartoon/unbelievable documentary format that feels unnecessary especially since it's aesthetically indistinguishable. Some incredible effects work but shots too close. Shaky acting, unconvincing. Score derivative of TCM's. Predictable stalk and chase. Sorry, I figured I'd post my first draft since that's what this movie saw fit to do.

  Housebound ★★★½

  Just like Toxic Avenger this looks so unfortunate but, thankfully, the pacing is so clean, the performances so charming, the creepiness so effective, and the script so tight that I ended up having fun. The unfolding narrative is so satisfying and surprising, even mining some great tension here and there. But, again, these characters are so lovely I could watch a whole season of TV about their antics and bullshit. It already looks like TV, might as well lean into the structure. It could be worse, but it could also be better! I'll take the latter. Please give me the latter, fuck. Why does it have to look like dog piss??

  The Corpse Bride ★★½

  When the music was popping off and the animation kept step, I was entertained. Some droll humor and a few dumb puns made me chuckle. The whole thing is a one step forward, one step back dance with no huge jumps in quality. The ending is perfect, the villain is flaccid. The music is great, the animation is inconsistent. I............don't remember much else, to be very honest. The Remains Of The Day is easily the highlight.

  Cure ★★★★★

  The only movie in existence that I'm afraid to watch again. And I don't mean I'm scared of anything within the movie, i.e. jumpscares, scary images, eerie sounds, etc. It's bigger than that: I mean the physical act of watching it again is what scares me. Like, in the abstract, watching it is itself a ritual, like it unlocks something, ala the tape from The Ring. Cursed film the more I think and talk about it; I'm afraid it knows I'm thinking about it. Don't watch it.

Him ★★½

  This is the gold standard of Facebook Meme Art. It's what your co-worker or friend from highschool urges "Says So Much About Society," a gladiator's helping of conspiracy theory slop turned feature-length film and even given the stamp of approval by Jordan Peele (which is extra funny considering the most-used song on FB Reels conspiracy theories is the creepy rendition of I Got 5 On It from the Us trailer). I was pointing out Illuminati references like Easter eggs (no flat-earth, reptilians, or skinwalkers though).

  Justin Tipping strives so hard for profundity that I kind of have a puppy-dog pity for his efforts. There's an underdog charm to how messily ambitious this is as he trips over himself to say everything that's on his mind, sometimes more than twice. He's too focused on planting seeds than he is about giving a precious few the attention and care they need to bloom; Him is a garden of buds. His cast is overqualified for this script and they prove it in every scene, never underplaying anything. Marlon Wayans is even allowed to be funny, thankfully (I was worried he'd be going the route of Eddie Murphy's 'serious' era) and I unironically love his moments of just...hanging out with Tyriq Withers.

  Every other review you've read is probably right, I get that not everyone has the stomach for such a barbaric slaughter of subtlety. The climax is hideous and I couldn't wait for it to end (especially since it was the kind of showdown where the only gore is the splatter of exposition). That said, it went out on a high note as the ending is absolutely wacky and I don't care about the intent: it left me with my hands up, surrending with a smile. It made me realize that this should have just been an exploitation farce from the get-go instead of getting lost in its super serious arthouse horror clout-chasing.

  Cemetery Man ★★★★½

   You could lie to me and say "This was actually called Pet Sematary 3 in certain regions" and I'd believe you. Has more flamboyant, artful flair in one act than most movies achieve in 90 minutes and its creative endurance never runs out. More visceral than structural, with eccentric sequences of varying tones, somehow strung together seamlessly. A covert, dual character study in disguise that sent me through nearly every emotion: I laughed, I winced, I was aroused, I laughed, I gagged, I cried, I rolled my eyes, I flung my head back in disbelief, I leaned in to feel closer, I shit myself. The ending elicited both a tilted "Huh..." and a contented "No, yeah, that makes perfect sense" for some reason. Goofy and ridiculous but never foolish or a waste of time. Hell yeah, frenzied Italian battiness.

  Caveat ★★

  With a set-up this eerie and clever, it's shocking how disastrous it ends up being. Quite creepy and effectively mysterious when it's just a self-contained ghost story (had me looking over my shoulder) but it's needlessly twisty and weighed down by saggy flashbacks. Convoluted for the illusion of character depth but some motivations are all over the place until it's a rat king, fatally knotted up until it mercifully dies. Distractingly overwritten and edited. Very disappointed.

  Thankfully, Oddity is everything this isn't, so it's nice to see growth.

  Vamp ★½

  Another movie with a good set-up that squanders its potential. Starts as a fun buddy comedy that's cute enough but gets funnier as it goes along. Then Grace Jones' dance is so lip-bitingly sexy that I got light-headed (it's even better than Salma Hayek's vampire striptease and not just because we aren't subjected to Tarantino sucking her feet) but after her seduction scene...it just spins its wheels; meandering and limp with jokes that are significantly less funny and a lead that feels out of place. Even the comic timing is thrown off at the midway point and never recovers which, I guess, firs the aesthetic stasis (the pink and emerald lighting really gets old). The whole time I was watching it I was just missing better movies like From Dusk Till Dawn, Demon Knight, or Sinners. Oh and it. just. would. not. end.

  2LDK ★★

  So much entertainment value gets left on the table when character allegiance goes unchallenged; one is clearly sympathetic, the other is clearly unlikable and neither evolve past this dynamic. This flattens both of them and robs the duel of its tit-for-tat fun. I kinda like the cunty back-and-forth and bitchy voiceover of the first half but, again, it was never ignited by any real friction. What makes it a horror movie are little pricks of startling imagery that actually do have thematic follow-through, unlike the rest of the movie.

  Even the actual violence is undercut as they're insanely durable, surviving multiple fatalities and injuries. I'm not one for 'realism,' I hate the entire conceit, but the ending is devoid of any weight when we've seen so much inconsequential violence before the fact; what's a stab to the neck when electrocution and severe head trauma mean nothing? This makes the sense of escalation feel absolutely inert. It's pretty obvious where the ending is taking us and the movie doesn't deviate from that in the slightest: a completely predictable and ineffectual punchline.

Häxan ★★★★★

  Had to properly thank Luke for this recommendation. Probably the most succinctly 'sPoOky' movie of October. Some of it is so real that I felt like I shouldn't be seeing it, like I was getting an actual intrusive glimpse back in time, which is a testament to the incredible effects work and costuming. Demons are so unbelievably textured, storied, and, creepiest of all, a w a r e here. They don't look like costumes or make-up but actual living beings with bodily functions. I also love the fact that it's told in these vignettes of historical reenactments, like an anthology of anthropology; the documentary aspect kind of blew my mind, like these were almost akin to news reels about the continuum of persecution, paranoia, and denial of agency throughout history. Story by story the amount of twists and devastations build on top of one another with the absolutely thick mortar of virtuosic filmmaking. The amount of memorable images are genuinely staggering. Monumental work.

  VIY ★★★½

  Feels like a vignette plucked right out of Häxan with, yet again, incredible effects work and some of the most idiosyncratic ghouls and demons put into my eyes. Feels almost proto-Evil Dead or, at the very least, like it would go on to influence the hell out of Sam Raimi (particularly a kooky old hag who rides our lead like a floating horse on a revolving set). As funny as it is confounding at times; episodic to a fault as it can feel a bit like it's idling until the next set piece. Any patience amidst boredom is always rewarded with a fun[ny] sequence of religious duelling. Our lead also isn't very interesting but he's good at a pratfall, and our 'villain' is fascinating, so it kinda-sorta evens out.

  Kolobos ★★

  Aptly described as Big Brother meets Saw, Kolobos hinges on the worst kind of twist a movie can have while doing nothing interesting with it. Which is a shame because it was so smart up until then. There's a thoughtful use of POV shots at the start, both diegetic and non-diegetic, that lay the foundation for evoking both vulnerability and observation. So when we transition to more security camera angles, it's a logical aesthetic evolution to surveillance. I also appreciate how effectively brutal it is. It's not just gory but fucking mean, too. But, again, any good will I had toward this (and I was firmly on its side!) inevitably bites down on that cyanide capsule of a twist. That said, the moment the 'killer' finally emerged was rattling enough to make that pill easier to swallow; I'm not dying mad, but I am disappointed. Said scene is so effective because of the wretched fucking score aka sonic terrorism. I don't even know the name of the specific track because I didn't wanna hear it isolated. It sounds like something you hear when the light goes out in your eyes and you fall into the cold caverns of Hell's deepest trench. I'm not even sure I like how the killer's make-up looks but my visceral reaction to seeing him in grainy shots of strobing lights, while that sonic terrorism blasted, he was an effectively dreadful sight. The most frustrating movie I watched last month.

Wendigo ★★★★½

   My first Larry Fessenden is a sad, ominous coming-of-age chiller lamenting the death of innocence (and so much more but I don't have the room to delve into it all). Both contemplative and manic, wistful and determined, anchored by some of the strongest verisimilitude I've ever seen. Propelled by smooth editing (that sometimes spazzes out into maximalism [complimentary]), Fessenden showcases tonal precision with a feature-length spectrum of emotional versatility. The efficacious interactions have such uncommonly natural dialog and equally impressive delivery that I was hooked within the first 5 minutes.

  When I said it's a "lament for the death of innocence," that wasn't nebulous word-salad filler to beef up my paragraph and sound profound: the last act has a death scene that's so realistic it feels exploitative. And since this is told predominantly from the POV of a child, you can feel the vicarious trauma seeping in...and so goes the guileless nature of childhood. There's a startling dream sequence with a camera move that should rival the mirror shot from Contact but a simple shot of empty boots (and edits suggesting deconstructed stop-motion) is the most effective piece of filmmaking in the movie.

 And on this list.

The Last Winter ★★★★

  Would fit perfectly in a winter triple-feature with Pontypool and The Thing. Just like with Wendigo, Fessenden is pondering so much but this is less like an eloquent dissertation and more of a festered manifesto. He posits the idea that sour gas under the permafrost, being released from runaway climate change, has been making everyone insane in the 21st century...and it's going to get worse. Since oil and natural gasses are basically a compound substance of ancient animals and plants then it would stand to reason that they could be haunting us, even referring to oil drillers as graverobbers. "What if the very thing we were here to pull out of the ground were to rise willingly - confront us."

  SPOILERS: Wisely, he doesn't conflate the spectral wildlife with the alien from The Thing but Capitalism is the true monster. The apocalyptic ending is a symptom of capitalism's gluttony. And Fessenden is so visually stingy here the way he deliberately avoids certain revelations because he knows what we want to see. That denial is infuriating on purpose as it further exacerbates the horror of the moment and makes us feel restrained. He relies on sound design and trusts us to infer based on what little he shows us: all we see are puddles...which means the ice is melting faster than we thought.

  But...ugh...the cgi he does choose to let us see—willingly, for some reason(??)—is...rough. If it weren't for these unfortunate distractions, this would be much, much higher.

Habit ★★½

  Sexy! Minimalist! Focused! Tactile! Lived-in! Alluring! Subtle! Disarming! ...Dramatic? Verbose? Contrived?? Predictable...?! This loses its way after a strong first half, shifting into something far more conventional and less bold than its set-up.

  Full Moon High ★★★

  I was originally going to watch It's Alive but I didn't want to commit to a whole trilogy, yet I didn't want an October without Larry Cohen (and I already watched The Ambulance over the summer), so this was my compromise: his pre-gentrified Teen Wolf. I appreciate how this is just a series of aggressively silly bits, ala Airplane!. Evidently a disaster behind the scenes (the editing is jagged and nonsensical, even by Cohen's standards) but nonetheless entertaining. Yeah, sometimes the quips got annoying but it wasn't long before something else won me back; Cohen's kitchen sink comedy. I also need to mention Demond Wilson whose too-brief appearance was one of the biggest highlights. Also just found out it came out the same year as An American Werewolf In London. Even the release date is funny.

  The Slumber Party Massacre ★★★★½

  Loved this! A peachy hangout movie with well-drawn characters who are shaded in as the night goes on. There are even characters you think you know who are given room to develop and surprise you; the bratty younger sister seems like she's going to be incredibly annoying but, honestly, she's the best part. Almost reaches the heights of Black Christmas with its funny, warm ensemble and vicious villain picking them off (almost). Great dialog, gnarly kills, stellar suspense and endearing characters who know how to survive: this is one of the most entertaining slashers I've ever seen.

  Slumber Party Massacre II ★

  Hated this! Tedious, repetitive, and populated with one-note energy vampires. If you think you know who a character is, that's exactly who they are until they die. A sloppy gatherum of recurring fake-outs that constantly kill and resurrect the momentum; a slog of cinematic alchemy. I'm glad it introduced me to Hell's Café and Let's Buzz but that all I got out of it. One of the most boring slashers I've ever seen. Everything this does, most of the Nightmare On Elm Street series has done far better. A damn shame that this follows the best character from the first movie but she's completely unrecognizable here. And I don't mean the casting, either.

  V/H/S/Halloween ★½

   Oh, this is bad:

• DIET PHANTASMA ★

  The frame narratives of this series have rarely been good (the only one I like is the original) and this upholds the tradition. Repetitive, stagnant, and derivative of much better fare, like Larry Cohen's The Stuff. Anything with Diet in the title is guaranteed to be pisswater so at least this lives up to its name.

• COOCHIE COOCHIE COO zero stars

  Most millennial humor sucks because there's an insecure follow-up to explain or acknowledge the joke. Sometimes acknowledgment is a joke unto itself with smirky "so, that just happened" overkill.

This is the horror version of that with some of the most didactic dialog I've ever heard; you are not allowed any mystery or intrigue and that's not even the worst of it. Formally there's an insane commitment to the very thing drives me up a fucking wall with bad found-footage: blatantly choreographed set-ups for the camera. The two actors hand it off and set it down so perfectly timed and framed that their 'controlled chaos' has so much control the chaos is erased entirely. The main monster Mommy felt like a non-threat, as did the manbaby; absolutely nothing about this works and it repeatedly pissed me off. There's also generative A.I. in it. So...one of the worst things I've seen this decade.

• UT SUPRA SIC INFRA ★½

  I thought I didn't have much to say about this one, which is worse than actively being annoyed, but thankfully I'm remembering some things that made my eyes roll. It would be another middling segment but the tedious reenactment device doesn't do much beyond pad the runtime. And the woman in the cellphone footage is far more of a compelling screen presence than our eventual lead (also, the distracting opening 2.35:1 aspect ratio made zero sense and baffled the fuck out of me). The ending is predictable as this is one of those 'going-thru-the-motions' segments that has no surprises whatsoever even though it hinges on its ending...the ending that it telegraphs throughout. Dumb.

• FUN SIZE! ★★

  This is another tradition for the v/h/s series: cool idea, bad execution. I appreciate how goofy and crass this, especially the two floating bowl gags, which made me chuckle. The creatures are neat and reminded me of Alex Pardee's artwork, I especially like that all they say is "FUN SIZE!" or "Oh, no!" There's also a funny, surprising gag involving an air vent that turns out to be a conveyor belt. There's an uncanny valley feel to it that I appreciate; it feels inexplicable. But none of that sustains. Just like the opening segment I abhor how overly rehearsed and artificial all the set-ups are, especially given the episodic structure— it doesn't help that the performances come up short, so there's ultimately no sale.

• KIDPRINT ★ (major spoilers)

  As the title suggests, this is about kids in peril. And I mean real peril, not Goonies peril. Not since Second Honeymoon has this series had just a straightforward snuff film. Eschewing supernatural scares for brutal realism, there is some foul shit in this that had me squirming to the point I nearly turned it off. Of course, there's a catch: tragically out of touch that the danger to these predominantly white children is a large black man. Because of the optics, in a pointedly Stranger Danger framework, this comes across like racist propaganda or irresponsibly colorblind. Either way, Alex Ross Perry sabotages himself because if the killer wasn't the only black person in the entire segment this would be one of the strongest entries in the series.

• HOME HAUNT ★★★½

  Thank Gourd for this segment, otherwise this movie would go straight to the toilet. Plays out like a brief glimpse into what happened at the end of Halloween III—which is something I've always wanted to see—swirled into the charming domesticity of The American Scream. I love the push-and-pull interplay between the moody son and his affable Dad, the eventual chaos soars because of their relationship; it has a wistfully taciturn sadness that gives itself over to capricious momentum once the shit hits the fan. There are some fun and fucked-up kills gathered as it snowballs toward one of the funniest and darkest endings to any segment. I've watched it twice and it's not just good for this abysmal movie but genuinely an entertaining Halloween short in its own right.