Final Destination: Bloodlines

  I overheard someone comparing this to Jason Lives in terms of it being a franchise revitalization that brings new humor and style and... I can't believe I agree. Truly.

  Like, this is as good as it is because it doesn't resign itself to sequel obligations - prick its finger, the DNA is from the same tree, but it tastes sweeter than ever. It's clearly made with ancestral insight and familial reverence but with a cocky swagger to do its own thing. First off, besides tweaking the structural formula, this is the most pointedly comedic entry with well-executed jokes and a surprisingly sincere streak that belies the franchise's typically bitter roots.

  Tones are balanced so well: fun, horror, and drama never throw off the equilibrium. Tony Todd's appearance is the best example of this: he's more than a mere highlight, cameo, or cynical checklist mark as they manage to weave his appearance (and why he looks the way he does) into the narrative. He gives a showstopping monologue about death that hits hard enough thematically but also reaches right out of the screen considering he was rapidly withering from cancer...but he doesn't skip a beat as he's also typically funny and creepy.

  Moreso than in 1, 3, and 5 the characters and their drama are so consistently well-written and acted. I found myself actually caring for these people, worrying about them, and missing them after the delicious inevitable happened.

And speaking of those tasty kills:

C'mon.

  They're so impressive and we're six movies deep (just like Jason Lives!) so it wasn't an easy feat; obvious care and craft went into carefully stacking its dominoes. There are at least three all-timers that are mandatory S-ranks for future tier lists, not just for the gory spectacle but the clever misdirects. And the premonition scene is the finest opening act since Part 2.

  I do wish the kills were more practical than CGI and the photography is downright hideous (too slickly synthetic with shoddy lighting and The Volume is as distracting as ever) but otherwise I don't have any complaints.

This is the franchise at its absolute best.

P.S.

  Tony Todd's send-off here hit extra hard after the Academy completely snubbed him from their 'In Memoriam' segment. Here he gets to use his own words in the role he's arguably most known for to say goodbye. He says to cherish every second of life because it can end at any moment and no one would know that better than someone whose clock is ticking down. His words ripple until the blunt, matter-of-fact ending; not a second is wasted.

"There's a whole galaxy out there waiting to disgust you"

  Star Wars discourse is so annoying because it's usually petty grievances lobbed back and forth in partisan tennis matches that go way too long; "it's woke" is usually the predominant serve, even if it's just two lesbian extras kissing in the background of The Rise Of Skywalker or the very existence of a black actor in a lead role. Another talking point is that a hundred insignificant somethings are "not canon," a nitpicky complaint about benign details that are apparently malignant when you see them through alarmist fans' brand of x-ray specs. Ki-Adi-Mundi's birthday was changed on Wookiepedia for The Acolyte and that was a travesty worth weeks of sweaty arguing; information redacted, history altered, our lives are a lie, the Earth is actually flat on this side of the galaxy and the gay agenda doesn't want you to know. Crumb-sized details are dissected under microscopes and eclipse more substantive critiques like story, characters, editing, cinematography, etc.

   Typically when I hear declarations that something is the best or worst thing ever, it spells hyperbole. Any detracting details are ignored in insulated opinion earmuffs that shield further engagement. Meanwhile, everything supportive is inflated and I feel a kind of personal duty to test the durability before popping it or leaving it to float.

  Like, I was curious about Acolyte on its own terms but the Discourse fueled the remaining 60% of my interest overall. As usual: it wasn't as bad as its detractors said it was nor as good as their adversaries claimed either. It was okay•ish with a few bright spots and a few dim ones; frustratingly inconsistent. Disney isn't shy to courting controversy and pandering to drum up interest (ala Captain Marvel) but they are prone to getting cold feet about certain things that [potentially] court [the wrong kind of] controversy, ala cutting a trans character from Win Or Lose. They also minimized Rose's role in Rise Of Skywalker because of the hate that Kelly Marie Tran received after The Last Jedi (Hell, every second of Rise Of Skywalker is cowardly damage control over The Last Jedi's sins and subversions).

  Or, in the case of Skeleton Crew, something that's actually serious.

 I had originally planned to do a follow-up to my Skeleton Crew post because I was so pleased with how they had ended it; the last two episodes maintained the course and stuck the landing in satisfying and surprising ways. As it stands it's one of my favorite Star Wars stories but there's something missing that doesn't sit well with me. Or, the reason it's missing is what really turns my stomach.

  Jod's monologue about losing his mentor was shown in a flashback and, as someone who gets neurotic about deleted scenes, I would have loved to have seen that. But, again, that's not why it's upsetting: Disney saw fit to cut this because the actress who played his mentor is Palestinian. Since Disney materially supports Israel, erasing her isn't just cowardly but shameful as it's evidence of them actively bowing to a genocidal regime currently committing ethnic cleansing in Palestine.

"these things happen"

  So the idea of making that follow-up post praising this show just felt grossly minimizing without acknowledging what Disney had done and why. My post would have had to be bigger than the show itself but considering it had poor ratings and thus unlikely to get a second season, I lost momentum and it all rolled downhill. It is incredibly ironic, though, considering At-Attin is a planet of people shut off from the rest of the galaxy, unaware that there's even any Wars going on, let alone even able to see the Stars themselves. And if that irony wasn't juicy enough: At-Attin's barrier is in place to protect money.

Well, Andor came back and I can't not talk about it, especially since it managed to be too bright for the Disney machine's looming shadow.

  With themes of martyrdom, sacrifice, and devotion on one side and the Empire's use of manufacturing consent, false flags, and manipulating the media on the other side, Andor is one of the most accurate treatises on revolutions and fascism that, released by Disney, stands as something radical.

  Among many other incredible things about season 2, Andor usurped Disney's sheepish censorship with an arc that ends with Mon Mothma using the word "Genocide" in the senate as imperial officers fight to silence her. Our media refuses to use the same word when referring to what's happening in Gaza, even Bernie Sanders explicitly called it "inaccurate." Just yesterday Ben Cohen, of Ben & Jerry's, was arrested for interrupting a Senate hearing by protesting RFK Jr.'s support of Israel. There are also the countless student protestors being illegally detained over their support of Palestine. Not only that but their character is assassinated with slanderous claims of offering material support to 'terrorism,' because they spoke out against the murder and starvation of children.

  With Andor's Ghorman massacre storyline direct lines were drawn from the ISB to Israel and Ghorman to Gaza. The same committee think-tank that erased a Palestinian actor's single scene now has to contend with something that highlights the violent erasure of thousands upon thousands of Palestinian men, women, and children. They don't control the narrative anymore, it's bigger than them, and it always has been.

  Or they're just too stupid to notice.