Friday, August 15, 2025

The best movies of the 2020s, so far: EVIL DOES NOT EXIST

  Eddington, despite anything I enjoy about it, has a major pacing problem. Aster has so many unjustifiable—and thus unnecessary—long takes that fill the room with dead air.

  Typically this is done to be contemplative, heighten kinetic movement, build atmosphere, build tension or suspense, or to strictly observe. I see him going for all of the above but none of it ever coalesces, especially the latter. There's not much to observe, really, so it's just a lethargic watch; it's not thrilling enough to be a thriller nor funny enough to be a comedy so all we're left with is an experience that feels inert.

  By contrast, Evil Does Not Exist's long takes are goddamn exquisite. This is observational cinema at its most chemically pure. The use of routines—and interruptions of said routines—make for a deceptively serene watch. The pace couldn't be more disciplined and engaging, sometimes hypnotic, like watching a shimmering glacier melt. What makes for a borderline ASMR movie is broken up by its tonal shifts which are not unlike its own form of climate change. There's a point where the natural 'melting' accelerates and cracks appear, giving way to large chunks falling off of the glistening frost, disrupting the equilibrium.

  Eiko Ishibashi's score is so peculiar while also one of the prettiest albums I've heard this decade. Hamaguchi actually enlisted Ishibashi to compose the score first as he planned to shoot his movie after the fact, based on how the score sounded. Her strings over shots of snow, frozen lakes, fallen feathers, a canopy of treetops and headlights in a dark cabin give the overall experience magnificent synergy.

  Shot almost entirely with a large depth of frame so the actors are absorbed by the forest around them, arguably because the forest itself is the main character. But, as the narrative slowly closes in with the patience of a venus fly-trap, there's constant discomfort. It feels like an anti-thriller negating any conventional sense of character allegiance or structural frameworks (no chase scenes, no suspense sequences of any kind). There's a sensationally tense town hall meeting where the heat is finally at a boiling point but it's not long before it comes back down to a simmer. From there we're challenged at every turn to have a nuanced view of everything we thought we felt or will feel.

  A long driving scene (honestly, it feels like it was shot in real-time [complimentary]) allows us to see two seemingly unlikable characters in a different light and thus we have a better view of their shades. This is the exact kind of sequence that a lesser movie would otherwise not give much thought but is absolutely vital. The closest the movie ever gets to showing us any real villains is a scene orbiting the driving sequence but it lasts probably.....4 minutes before they leave the narrative entirely. Nothing of consequence happens to them because, realistically, nothing would.

  So when the extremely polarizing ending collapses the ground from under your feet, all you can do is try to desperately search for a why. Or WHYs, plural. It still has me revisiting the movie weekly, turning it over, checking for new insights. It's a confident choice, one that, even if I hated, I'd still admire for how ballsy it is (and it deserves credit for being set up multiple times throughout: it doesn't come out of nowhere). But I love it beyond that because there's so much to get out of it.

  Everything flows downhill.

Wednesday, August 6, 2025

The best movies of the 2020s, so far: 28 YEARS LATER

Spoilers

  My Mom told me, very bluntly, that she was dying. No, that's not why I said spoilers, Lol.

  She'd gotten a cancer diagnosis in early October 2021 and died December 3rd. She said she wanted to have a Living Funeral before she went (something that never ended up happening). But I was in classic denial. I didn't accept it. I couldn't accept it. My family and I have had rampant health problems, hospital visits, surgeries, etc. for decades. My childhood was spent basically being ⅓ bubble boy; I spent most of middle school at home or in the hospital. My Mom had been through even more: in 2006 she got cancer and survived after having the tumor removed. In 2018 she had a heart attack and survived that, too. She'd survived so much before that that we would joke that she was indestructible.

  So when the cancer came back and riddled her entire body, including her blood, I handwaved it away with "She'll be okay, it'll get worse before it gets better." She would tell me, pretty persistently, that she was dying, but I kept denying it. She'd tell me to plan for it, to brace for it, to accept it; it's happening. I'd plead with her to go to other doctors, other hospitals, to see specialists, get second or third opinions. Eventually she just went along with it, opted to comfort me instead of telling me over and over that she was a goner. She enabled me.

  I don't know if I resent her for that now or love her for it or a complicated mix of both. Probably both, to be honest. I wish I had accepted it and spent more time with her. It was in my delusion that I didn't always prioritize visits with her because, again, she's not going anywhere right??

  One morning I woke up for work and I'd had 5 missed calls from my Stepdad and a voicemail of him telling me she was gone. I called him and asked what room she had been put in at the hospital; still in denial. I was screaming and panicking and shaking my head uncontrollably. I hung up on him, called him back, kept saying "but she said she was going to go to a specialist, she was going to get better."

  I think we simultaneously know our parents are going to die someday but also think it's not going to happen anytime soon. I didn't properly prepare for it. It didn't fit into my plan. Hell, I still catch myself in disbelief; I've grieved her and I've accepted it but I'll never be used to it.

  So when 28 Years Later gets to the last act where Isla is diagnosed, Spike has a moment of teary denial, Dr. Kelson kills her with morphine and Spike is presented with her skull: I'd never felt more vulnerable in a theater.

  When Dr. Kelson tells Spike to "pick a spot for her," I closed my eyes, and when he finished it off with "best one of all," I joked to a friend of mine "Haha...I need to leave." Watching Spike hold it in disbelief and then climbing up the tower, kissing it, placing it on top and facing her toward the sun...fuck. And I'm not just susceptible to the Dead Mom trope, it has to be executed well (lol, remember The Flash?) so know that I'm not caving to the trap of relatability. Genuinely, with no hyperbole: this is one of the most profound depictions of death I've ever experienced in media.

  ...but it's also one of the most morbid? It's not far off from keeping or spreading one's ashes, which is what we did for my Mom. But...to actually hold her skull? It reminds me of the first time I learned that Ed Gein was, apparently, a really good babysitter? No joke: he was really good with kids and was frequently asked to babysit. Now imagine if he was your grief counselor: Dr. Kelson is kinda like that. But in the Post-post Apocalypse where death is treated coldly and only referenced in terms of spectacle or warning, Dr. Kelson's methods are the more humane approach.

  The way Boyle and Garland constantly juxtapose and dichotomize the infected from the uninfected is so unexpectedly thoughtful, in a movie that's bursting with surprises. The score itself is so odd it's kind of unbelievable. Sometimes it's so on the money and really soars while other times it's the complete opposite of what a scene calls for, yet...Boyle makes it work no matter what. The way Promised Land plays over the opening is so fucking inspired. Or the absolutely magnificent Causeway making the big chase scene feel gargantuan; it's such a beautiful track that it feels deceptive considering the horror on screen. Then there's the use of BOOTS or the end track, Pals, sending us off with tense, threatening uncertainty.

  That extends to Boyle's editing, with how borderline glitchy it is but also, again, very thoughtful. There's a great scene where Isla talks about losing track of time around The Angel Of The North statue when she was a child because her Father told her that statues last for hundreds, even thousands of years. And now, with her brain cancer, she is lost to time again, regressing and calling Spike "Dad," asking him how far into the future they've fallen. Boyle then cuts to a time-lapse of the statue as the clouds and their shadows zip past the landscape; the whole movie is full of shit like that.

  I don't have the time nor inclination to cover just how formally bold this movie is. Every image is memorable: every kinetic movement, every vista, every crunchy iPhone pixel being blown up to give us some of the brightest color I've seen in a major release. Ugh. It's overwhelming how good this movie looks and how fun it is to just experience Boyle's hyperactive imagination; he shot this movie like he had a gun to his head and the threat of death if he did anything boring. At no point was he ever close to death. There's a mounted Go-Pro shot on one of the infected's back and when it cuts to a reverse, it's revealed that this was the POV of a crow picking at the infected. Just.......

  And the ending, my God! This is where Boyle shows us that he was the one holding the gun because only a madman would make something like this, with Sony's money, no less.

  For about 2973636 reasons: one of the most unforgettable movies of this decade and it's not even close.

Friday, August 1, 2025

The best movies of the 2020s, so far: FRIENDSHIP

   Happy Naked Gun Day if you're celebrating. Unless it sucks then I'll look back on this post, probably delete it and abolish Naked Gun Day. Friendship is my favorite comedy of the decade, so far. Here's hoping Naked Gun is better.

  Tim Robinson is such a natural at comedy. Dude was born for it or, if he wasn't, then some force or energy made sure he was eventually molded for it. His instincts are so keen for comic timing, almost excruciatingly so. Hell, he even looks funny and seems to be very aware of that, which gives him a great screen presence. There are moments in Friendship where I laugh simply because of how he walks or when he does the slightest movements of his face. It helps that he has a specific voice he does that's also, again, hahaha, very funny. The way he fucking says "It's not coming back" in regards to his Wife's cancer is the perfect line delivery to kick off the movie's tone. Even the editing is funny with two very memorable uses of an iris transition, the latter of which fucking demolishes me. Concepts that aren't even spelled out or explicitly acknowledged are funny after the fact: the idea of a Welcome Home Party for a woman who just got saved from the sewer (where she had her first orgasm in months). No hyperbole: nearly every minute has me fighting for air.

  This is where I come to an impasse.

  I've had trouble writing about Friendship because there's not much to write about. I love this movie as much as I do because it's so funny. That's it. It's just a collection of well-strung bits executed at the highest level, with a perfect cast. Not a single attempt to get a laugh fails. It also looks great and has a pleasantly loose narrative running through an absorbing character study. There's so much to be said about the politics of male interactions, social expectations, etc. but that's not what I keep coming back to this movie for. I find immense joy in its comedy.

  So I mean, yeah, I could just summarize every comedic bit or quote every line and say, predictably, "that was funny, this was funnier, etc." but that's not compelling. So

  MY BOO LYRICS

[Intro]

Boy, you should know that

I've got you on my mind

Your secret admirer

I've been watching you

[Chorus]

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your lovin' strong, gonna give my all to you

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your love is strong gonna give my all to you

[Verse 1]

Every day I pray my heart can win

Every night I pray I can call you my man (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

I need you, I want you, to have you, hold you, squeeze you

So I'm going out every weekend just to see my boo again

[Chorus]

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your love is strong, gonna give my all to you

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your love is strong gonna give my all to you

[Verse 2]

These feelings I have for you can go deeper if you can come

Correct with your game boy (No, no), no, you can't be lame, boy

But if you can please me then my love will come easy

I'll do anything you want, freak me boy, I'm thinking of you

[Chorus]

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your lovin' strong, gonna give my all to you

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your love is strong, gonna give my all to you

[Bridge]

Boy you've got all I need from what I see

And boy every night I am constantly thinking of you

[Chorus]

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your lovin' strong, gonna give my all to you

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your love is strong, gonna give my all to you

[Outro]

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your love is strong, gonna give my all to you

At night I think of you

I want to be your lady, maybe

If your game is on give me a call, boo

If your love is strong, gonna give my all to you

The best movies of the 2020s, so far: ZOLA

   Anora, my most anticipated movie of last year, turned out to be one of the most disappointing movies of the decade. I was so sucked in for the first third but I kept floating further and further from the screen. So much potential is gradually sanded down, I kept having to refocus. It's not just baffling for its Oscars sweep but because Sean Baker showed so much promise before this; Florida Project is good, Red Rocket is excellent and neither have any of Anora's faults. Almost everything about this movie is aggravating: the photography is ugly, the editing is tedious, the story isn't engaging, the characters are annoying and uninteresting, the tone...ugh, the tone, is the most egregious offender.

  It's like navigating the warm spots of piss in a pool as his first big comedic sequence is wildly out of touch. There's a detachment between what his titular character is going through and what he wants us to feel: we might know there's no danger for her, thus it's [meant to be] funny watching these goons bumble around, but she doesn't know that. To her, she might be killed or raped, even begging them not to tie her up...and Baker wants us to laugh during this. It's truly bizarre to see a filmmaker be so out of touch with his own material. This doesn't feel like Anora's movie, she's an afterthought, which is why her only moment of true characterization is shown at the tail-end of this story. Baker's virtue-signaling 'support' for sex workers under the guise of being "non-judgmental" flattens Anora. No, it's not a cautionary tale about sex work, but it's not discerning in any other way whatsoever.

  Everything negative I said about Anora is flipped for Zola: I couldn't get enough of it. The kind of movie that could have been an hour longer and you wouldn't read a single complaint from me.

  Based on a Twitter thread written by a stripper, A'Ziah 'Zola' King, Zola is a period piece that captures what it feels like to be chronically online: during a montage of penises one especially thick cock is given a flashing heart react. When we're updated on the time it looks like an iPhone lock-screen. Screenshots are taken of passing billboards. Certain lines are punctuated by the Twitter notification chirp. And, during an especially tense standoff, when tension starts to escalate Zola disassociates to a kind of undulating screensaver.

  Shot with glorious 16mm and expertly lit, sharply edited with a firm command of tone from the jump, Janicza Bravo expertly establishes—and follows through—with this being Zola's story. And, since this is Zola's story, there's plenty judgment thrown around; Her freeze-frame observations or asides about what's happening, what happens off-screen or what will happen never lose pop. Everyone around her range from repugnant to pitiful but they're never not engaging and funny. I need to reiterate how funny it is because so much of it has me screaming every time I revisit it. Bravo uses the color of piss (and how people piss) as character exposition - no one is working on her level of sleaze.

  There's a sequence where we see Zola dance and it's evident that she's not only good at what she does but she enjoys it. It's a sexy performance but it's also just downright gorgeous, the longer it goes on the more hypnotic it gets. After all this build-up of eroticism and beauty it ends with an old redneck giving her a tip and earnestly telling her she "looks a whole lot like Whoopi Goldberg." The way Taylour Paige plays Zola processing this comment, while slowly gyrating her crotch, is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

  So many moments play out like that: Bravo will build a scene only to knock it down with a well-timed punch-line. The amount of times this movie pulled the rug out had me constantly on my ass, perpetually amused. When it suddenly switches focus to 'STEFANI,' as she hijacks and retitles the movie, I was in the clouds the way I blasted off with laughter. It even took me a while to come down, too, with how it just keeps going. Riley Keough's performance is one of her more underappreciated turns. Stefani's blaccent and, more importantly, the one moment she drops it, is so fucking spot-on but so easily could be a bland caricature. She makes Stefani a fully realized human being instead of just a mockery: she, too, is giving a performance.

  Speaking of performances and accents: Colman Domingo's X, with his aggressive paranoia, is probably the funniest character... but also the scariest. He is the epitome of this movie's tonal tightrope and it's shocking how well Bravo finds balance. His accent switch-up is funny until he coldly switches back and takes Zola's defiant power away, his out-of-focus mouth dominating the frame. Bravo knows how and when to empower Zola but also to show us realistic disempowerment.

   Two POV shots show us just how isolated she feels: one is of a massive Confederate flag casually waving and the other is a black man being brutalized by cops. There's also a moment by the pool where X grabs her face and threatens her. One of the staff goes to step in but then reluctantly leaves and we never see him again. When she's asked why she wasn't looking out for Stefani (a job forced on her) she asks "Who's looking out for me?" Zola is trapped here but she never loses her agency in the story.

  The same can't be said for Derrek and Stefani: everything about them is about ownership, even the way they express 'love'. She'll point to her heart and ask "Whose is this?" and he'll answer "Mine," then she'll do vice-versa to his heart, "Whose is that?" and, of course, he says "Yours."

  This happens every time he has a meltdown about her doing sex work and lying about it; he vows to take care of her so she doesn't have to keep doing this. What Derrek doesn't realize is that he, too, wanted to pimp himself out: to Vine and YouTube. The whole movie he's watching videos on his phone of people hurting themselves on a loop and declaring "I'mma make movies like this someday," missing the irony that he'll be exploiting his body to keep Stefani from exploiting hers. It's not until the ending where X proudly proclaims he owns every part of Stefani—her heart, her tits, her ass, and her face—that Derrek realizes, on some level, X owns him too. So he does what he's been watching on his phone: he hurts himself. And that's where it ends.

  For those saying it lacks an ending, I mean, objectively I can't disagree, but subjectively: not only does it end on a fitting thematic note, it ends where the Twitter thread ended, no more no less. If you want any more than that then you, like the entitled people on this insane road trip, think Zola owes you something.

  She doesn't.