HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION: THE DANGERTAINMENT CUT ★★
So there does exist an enhanced version of Halloween Resurrection, it wasn't a myth. Keeping with a bit of tradition at this point: Halloween '78 has its extended TV cut, Halloween 5 has the 'Dr. Death' version, there's the Producer's Cut of Halloween 6, and, of course, there's the drastically different Director's Cut of Rob Zombie's Halloween II. This is different from the original Resurrection but not enough. While it still has its awful script, obnoxious characters, and the score is disruptive, I am taken by its new textures. Found-footage Michael Myers is creepy and there are moments here where I felt a slight mist of something eerie. One jumpscare actually got me (though, to be fair, it's an alternate version of a scene I thought would go a certain way, so it snuck up on me). But I still hate that mask and the climax is a victim of this whole gimmick not working holistically. But we also don't ever cut back to fucking Deckard. That helps.
Speaking of found-footage Halloween!
PROJECT SHAMROCK ★★★½
Goofy as it is, I find myself increasingly on the side of appreciating this thing. I'll admit to a twinge of jealousy because I've wanted to make something similar to this. But, pushing that aside, I'm glad someone made it. The way Eisener ties everything across the Halloween franchise together, from the Curse Of Thorn to Silver Shamrock to the very first movie, is impressively inspired. And, more than that, it feels so logical (as opposed to the unwatchable Crystal Lake on Peacock). There are also a trick-or-treat bucket's worth of easter eggs: I'm not immune to jingling keys. And it looks so good that I had to check and make sure it wasn't AI. No drinking-water was stolen to make this as handsome as it is.
V/H/S/MIXTAPE ★
No AI was used in the making of this either but it certainly felt like it. Not a single second felt creative. To be fair...........I am being a bit hyperbolic since it features practical puppets by Jim Henson's Creature Shop. But! after the disappointment of Wildwood [and another movie coming up on this list] I just don't have it in me to offer praise for merely trying. Also, I'm just so tired of this new "What If Barney Was Evil?" subgenre (hence why Buddy isn't on this list). But, goddamn, every segment here is boring; unscary, unfunny, and devoid of self-respect as they skirt the found-footage approach over and over. At one point the aspect ratio changed to ultra-wide just cuz and I checked out. This was after two shorts completely ignored the logic of diegetic sound, so it was a cumulative apathy. It doesn't stop there: One of them is a stop-motion short that feels completely disconnected and the other a music video pastiche. Cynically, this felt like an anthology all its own but they forced it into the recognizable I.P. of Shudder's seasonal videotape compendium. Hence the strain when they actually incorporated found-footage stylistics. I can't respect a movie so ashamed of its existence.
HELLO, MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II ★★★★
With a title that fun, confident and exquisitely stupid, I hoped the movie itself would match it: expectations were greeted, seated, and treated. The quintessential '80s slasher recipe is served when engrossing characters are killed in spectacular fashion. While I still haven't seen the first Prom Night, though I am curious, I doubt it features a chalkboard drowning someone. This is what a movie that isn't ashamed of itself looks like.
Surprised to learn this pre-dates F13 VII: The New Blood since both play out like What-Ifs for Carrie White. I was so sure "What if Carrie was Freddy Kreuger?" was inspired by "What if Carrie fought Jason?" Either way, this is one of the most entertaining movies I watched this month precisely because Mary Lou is a supreme villain. She is despicable as a pure slasher antagonist but she goes beyond that as she forces psychosexual torture: possessing our heroine and seducing her Dad in the process, upon which she gets labeled a homewrecker by her own Mom. Diabolical shit!
EVILSPEAK ★★½
Now here's a Carrie clone that doesn't entirely work. It's watchable, definitely, but I didn't get much else out of it. Wasn't boring, wasn't thrilling. Needed to loosen up a bit, especially since its opening transition from topless beheading to soccer game made me cackle — nothing like this happens again. Clint Howard is quite good, though, and the climax is amusing. The image of him floating, sword in hand, is gonna stick with me. Silly!
BLOOD DINER ★★★★½
A delirious tapestry of absurd shit without a lick of doubt about any of it; One of the funniest pieces of media I've ever encountered. I had to take off my shirt and get some water. This shit dehydrated me! I don't care what is or isn't intended to be funny by Jackie Kong either. All I know is I was laughing or smiling from the first frame to the last and I'm not going to calcify and parcel out my joy for a half-assed autopsy to detect irony. So many turns of phrase had me on the floor, like the opening where the Mom says "I forgot goddamn tampons" or their customer's rambling about his love for vegan food, "I tell you, that's the best sandwich I've had in a son of a bitch long time. I've been to some vegan places where the soup isn't good enough to piss in." Even during what would be stock exposition scenes, she has something going on in the background. Or a character will come in and suddenly there's a comedy bit intruding on the dialog. For its runtime this movie had me questioning my Agnosticism because I felt pure nirvana and my skepticism about the afterlife wilted. Or maybe I was experiencing buried psychosis.
ALUCARDA ★★★
"Hysterical" is the only word that comes to mind when I think back on this exhausting fit of a movie. Feels like a sweaty Bizarro version of The Passion Of Joan Of Arc. I thought its fiery climax would never end but the madcap energy was also intoxicating? A couple of stretches were annoying but that's a testament to how good it is when it actually locks in. I might never watch it again but I also feel an itch to never let something this occasionally startling slip into obscurity.
AND SOON THE DARKNESS ★★★★
Saw this recommended on Twitter and I dove in blind. A stark murder mystery told in defiant daylight with maddeningly repetitive editing and a cunningly mean script. Not sure I'm on board with the climax considering the bright shade of red that certain herrings are painted with. But it might grow on me with subsequent rewatches. I'll just have to mentally prepare myself to endure its unending tension again. That said, the end credits are absolutely brilliant.
SUSPIRIA (1977) ★★★½
Helena Markos is such a great villain. I love her final monologue's enthusiastic viciousness. It's like she's been holding it in the whole movie and she's just dripping with foam as it escapes her mouth. Taunting Suzy is the best part of her week. Unfortunately it's one of the worst parts of my list. Suzy is such a boring character. Everyone else around her has so much personality and shit going on. I could be charitable and acknowledge that this might be a feature and not a bug considering she's sedated for much of the runtime. But she moves from one verbal slideshow presentation to another, listlessly gobbling information. There's nothing interesting about her. Jessica Harper is utterly fantastic, though, so she gives Suzy presence otherwise. And that's all I have to contribute because everything else is just as good as everyone has been saying for 50 years. The colors, the score, the kills, the grotesqueries: all stellar.
But Phenomena is better in every way.
CAMP ★★★★
Basically a remake of Suspiria if it was a profoundly sad hangout movie? That's superficial [as I could just as easily bring up The Craft] but both are about a woman entering a new environment and discovering a coven of witches. Except, here, this 'Suzy' (Emily) is the main focus and she's actively the most interesting person. She's also willingly heaving herself into their circle, rather than being corrupted or terrorized by them. At no point does the movie ever tell us how to feel, there's gracious room that isn't crowded by moralism. In that space there's a helplessness I felt as she waded into the comfort of accepting her perceived status as 'cursed'. Tonally feels like a subdued sister of I Saw The TV Glow.
COHERENCE ★★★
A bunch of upper-middle-class white people get stuck in a weird time anomaly and mumblecore their way through what's going on. Effective when it's at its most dysphoric but there's also a faint "Who cares?" that lingers under every scene. They're mostly unlikable and not very interesting until the concept of multiversal doppelgangers is introduced. So there's an element of mistrust and intrigue thrives there. The ending also kind of reveals that the whole thing was a bit of a stealthy character study. On rewatch it hit even better. Still irksome though.
ONSLAUGHT ★★
Adam Wingard movies always trick me. I get suckered in by their trailers but they usually let me down. The Guest was always the odd one out as I still enjoy it over a decade later. So with this being a quasi-sequel, particularly on the heels of him doing 'two-for-them,' with the Godzilla/Kong movies, I was convinced this would be a 'blank check' movie ala Malignant. The premise sounds cool (still does!) but Wingard is just cursed with a limited imagination and Simon Barrett is equally afflicted. Wingard has great taste for music and a knack for cultivating a mood but I felt like I was hanging in the air as I watched this pass me by. It looks fantastic but it's...not in service of anything. I can't even forgive or ignore its gaunt story and characters because most of the kills and action are...non-existent. Four times I counted the typical Shot Of Violent Act Cuts To Shot Of Blood Splatter kill. And that's how I'd describe most of the movie because Barrett's script also isn't ripe enough. That said: the gas station massacre is genuinely stomach-churning shit. Wingard portrays a mass shooting with the appropriate gravity so, for the only time in the movie, I was brought back down to Earth. It didn't last because, by the time it all ended, I just shrugged in the air. ...I did rewatch the opening credits and listened to the soundtrack/score on a loop, though. "The Guest II" fan art did always portray the movie as an album cover. Fitting!
THE HUNGER ★★★★½
Visually, sonically, thematically, Tony Scott knows exactly how to do what Wingard would probably sell his soul for. Don Mancini recommended this as "Style is substance" and somehow he was underselling it. I was just bowled the fuck over by practically every second. The way Scott and his editor play with time, especially in the opening, is so pragmatic and lean. The 'waiting room' scene ramps up how eerie this affliction is and from there it devolves from quiet tragedy to pathetic evil. Here's a vampire too feeble to be an apex predator so he sets his sights on a more vulnerable human. The desperate, jealous bloodshed is upsetting but its aftermath is truly sickening because it all feels so utterly pointless. Absolutely nothing was gained from it and unpacking why he did it is increasingly uncomfortable. I have to cut it off there because this blurb is already too long. I got dangerously close to just giving a full synopsis because I vividly remember most of this movie and I want everyone to know how good it is. The sapphic second half is so sexy and suspenseful with one of the most satisfying endings to any movie on this list.
THE CYCLE ★★
Depending on the day I could be mean to this movie...or show it some respect. If I was being mean I'd say it was "cute," but I don't think it's cute, at least not today. I find it...neat. It's pretty neat! For the first half I was pretty bored (it's neither neat nor cute). It plays like a dim streaming procedural with no discernable hook beyond "this'll do" background noise. Our lead is serviceable and so are the monologues she has to give and listen to. At times it felt like prescriptive Grief/Trauma metaphorror with its flashback cross-cutting. But the second half, where it finally reveals itself, is...kinda neat! There are some shockingly effective practical effects and sound design. Color me impressed!! Nothing else really moved the needle for me but I I respect that turn. I just wish it wasn't a turn and was....just...where the whole movie had started.
Oh, it's also pretty racist with how it frames its only black characters as plot devices in service of the white cast. Not to mention one of them is horribly disfigured so he's just a cautionary spectacle — don't wanna end up like him! [a sentiment explicitly stated by one of the main characters during the credits]. And their final scene is especially thankless as it feels less like care for how they feel about everything and more of just an obligatory checkmark. And I say this because it cuts them off so abruptly that I thought I hit the skip button. But no, the director just had zero interest in their catharsis. It especially sucks because they're easily the most interesting characters in the entire movie, yet they're left adrift. Ya know what? This movie is pretty cute.
RAZORBACK ★★
Another disappointing creature feature. But it's kind of the inverse of The Cycle as the first half is fucking excellent while the second half is a massive letdown. Probably the most frustrating movie I watched last month. It kicks off so strongly and it's unbelievably gorgeous to look at. The narrative is also bouncing around in so many unpredictable ways (complimentary). There are funny gags, unexpected character deaths, and creative dream sequences. Sometimes it feels like we're in a dream but it turns out, no, that's just Australia. At times it felt like a prequel to Mad Max. But by the time the last act settles into a conventional groove and becomes so rigid to the point of tedium, I was actively pissed off. The climax is so nonsensically staged with some of the worst editing on this list. When the credits rolled I was glad it was over, not at all where I thought I'd end up with this movie.
NEXT OF KIN ★½
Man, if it wasn't for revisiting Lake Mungo I would have to call Australian horror a bust in 2026. I remember watching this and a few scant images come to mind but nothing really stands out except the ending. But of course a giant truck crashing through a wall in an otherwise low-key slasher disguised as a ghost story would stick out. Plus, it's followed by a huge head explosion where the pink mist dissolves to a sunrise vista? Crazy!...kinda. Straining: the reveal felt weightless because the investigation wasn't all that engrossing. A few spooky old folks come to mind but they disappear just as quickly. Booooo!
THE VISITOR ★★★★½
The original One Battle After Another. In this iteration: God and the progeny of Satan are fighting over Perfidia's uterus and Lance Henriksen plays Lockjaw. Unlike anything else I've ever seen. Every ad for a prediction market app that I had to sit through on Tubi would have a field day with this because nothing is foreseeable. One minute I'll be laughing with and at it, like I was during Blood Diner, but then frightened and cowering immediately after. But it's not just gonzo Italiano because the ending, both times I watched it, brought me to real tears with its unforced poignancy. It's a reveal that recontextualizes the entire movie. But also at one point God accuses Satan's daughter of cheating at pong and she gets pissy. Absurd, sincere, overwhelming, unforgettable.
SPIDER BABY ★★★★
Ohhhhh, so that's where Tobe Hooper and Rob Zombie got their sauce recipe from. I understand. It's also the first time I've seen the "black people die first" trope in a historical context.
Really enjoyed the strange pleasures of this. But it also goes to places I wasn't expecting: Lon Chaney Jr.'s tearful monologue caught me so off guard. As did Ralph's scene of sexual assault. And that's what pushes this over the edge for me because it starts so violently but cools down enough that I was lulled into a false sense of security. There's definitely tension during the dinner scene but mostly of the Guess Who's Coming To Dinner variety: I forgot I was watching a horror movie. The bowl of grass sold as a 'salad' is fucking funny. Also, Peter and Ann's burgeoning relationship is so stinking cute that it contributed the most to my delusion. His stumbling little "Hey. So, are you still a wolf..fan--a wolf. man. fan. Ann?" has been knocking around my head for about a week now. But that helped make their subsequent capture so scary, especially since Ralph latches onto Ann. And while it ends in a way I fully expected, my nerves were apparently uninformed. Not to mention the manic tragedy on Bruno's face gives it a depth of sadness. The epilogue, however, snuck up on me.
DRESSED TO KILL ★★★
Huh. Has all the elements of a great DePalma film but it's...it's fine. It's fine! Sure. I love the museum sequence and the venereal disease reveal was, genuinely, an effective jumpscare that leads into the teeth-clenching elevator kill. But the central mystery is painfully predictable cuz typical '80s slasher Transphobia, so there isn't much narrative tension. I enjoyed it but it's not as immediate and grand as Carrie or Blow Out. It is incredibly sexy and occasionally fun, though. DePalma still provides even in this minor register.
THE TOMB OF LIGEIA ★★★½
A surprisingly dreamy, ethereal work from Roger Corman. Feels like more like a stageplay than a movie but it works because of Vincent Price's operatic performance. My first(?) experience with hammer horror and good enough that I look forward to everything else. Has a similar hysteria to Alucarda but slows down enough that it isn't swallowed in lunacy. Every moment with the cat is A+, especially the more perilous bits. But I just love the idea of being stalked around a castle by a cat who thinks you're a homewrecker.
ALONE IN THE DARK ★★
Honestly, I don't remember much of this beyond the ending and one especially nail-biting scene. The latter, though, felt kind of cheap after the fact, mining mere thrills from something so potentially horrific. And the former was so exciting that I wish the movie had STARTED there. It's such an intriguing way to cap this off. And I just remembered the opening, which is pretty cool, albeit just a dream sequence. There's also some subtle characterization with the Sister but, again, it's a hallucination that doesn't amount to much. Oh yeah, Donald Pleasance was in this. How did I forget him?? So, wasted potential pretty much across the board; Wingardesque!
TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE
I can't judge this as an anthology because I didn't watch the whole thing. I skipped Kick The Can because 1) it didn't look like it fit October and 2) I've heard and read nothing but absolute vitriol about this segment from everyone...ever. It seems to be a great equalizer as even sworn enemies can agree, "The Spielberg segment sucks." And I haven't experienced simple disappointment, like it's just the weakest segment, but active anger at it sucking so much? That's...kind of intriguing, not gonna lie. So I do plan to watch it someday.
I don't ever plan to watch Time Out, though. So I skipped that indefinitely. I still love The Blues Brothers but I don't think I can ever stomach sitting through this knowing not just what happened but how avoidable it was. I wouldn't be able to focus, thus there's no way I could ever experience it subjectively.
• IT'S A GOOD LIFE ★★★★½
Now, in the same crowd of breaths damning the Spielberg section in unison, I've also heard their unanimous praise for this segment. "Oh, Joe Dante's segment is the fucking best" is usually the attitude. I have to agree, to a point. I love it, it's great, but I like the Dante segment more and the resolution feels a tad bit rushed. I get that this is a short so there isn't enough time to flesh it out but I can't shake this feeling of abruptness every time she convinces him to leave with her. It's a little too tidy for something so wild. I definitely find it affecting, for sure, but I do wish it had just a few more minutes to breathe. No complaints about anything else, though. The Dante-isms are sublime and sort of proto-Backrooms at times. Superb segment.
• NIGHTMARE AT 20,000 FEET ★★★★★
What truly baffles me is that I've never really heard much about this one. It's understandable why so much of the conversation surrounding this movie overshadows this segment but it's also a fucking shame having seen it. I think that's why I foolishly WASN'T expecting such an experience. But I was so jazzed as this got going and that momentum carried me into the sun: of course George Miller delivers something this fiercely fun and uncanny. I've seen it three times so that means there were three moments in October where I was fully convinced I could run straight through a wall and burst through it. John Lithgow actually does just that as this is just remarkable for him. He's so in-tuned to what Miller is reaching for (that split-second single frame of his eyes bugging out scared the shit out of me!). Hell, the whole cast is just delightful. I wasn't expecting such a mosaic of misfits but everyone is memorable for one reason or another (especially the daughter whose line deliveries had me losing my mind). And I count the creature among these characters because it showcases such unexpected personality. Only a cinematic daredevil like George Miller could make this and I cherish him for it.
SANTA SANGRE ★★★★★
I'll have to give this its own post someday but I also don't want to. I have plenty to say but writing about it feels like trying to lift the Statue Of Liberty: it's just so enormous. Plus, it's so personal to me that it feels like lifting the Statue Of Liberty...naked. I closed out Halloween with it and I watched it again on Sunday night. Then I watched it again yesterday. Nearly every frame is remarkable. And there's something incredibly evocative about how it has the grand sensibilities of a silent film but it was made in the late '80s. So it feels like a true 1:1 that I'm in unending awe of.
THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM ★★★½
Occasionally psychedelic and strange: needed more of that. Loved the big snake puppet and howled at the bagpipe sequence. A fantastic villain in a movie too small for her. One of the more unique takes on vampire mythology I've seen. Reminded me of Dagon a bit.
So, cards on the table, I watched this kinda bitter. It's no big deal. Everyone else got to see the restoration of The Devils in theaters. It wasn't playing around here. I'm not mad, haha so I settled for this. Haha, it's okay. I'm okay.
