Thursday, March 18, 2021

Fuck it: Top 10 Superhero Movies

Heading into a new decade means reckoning with the ‘new direction’ of the superhero genre: Marvel has moved into streaming to accommodate it’s ever-expanding and increasingly esoteric canon, and DC has lined up some of the most anticipated blockbuster features of my lifetime. One thing’s certain: superhero media isn’t going anywhere, and that’s mostly OK if it’s as good as The Batman looks to be. 


I made this list expressly for the purpose of posterity -- one thing you’ll notice about it is that it’s dominated by the 2010s, and assuming the next 8 years continue (if not strengthen) that trend, this’ll be something to look back on: where I was at in 2021. 



10. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Spider-Man and Batman are neck-and-neck as the most consistently entertaining superhero properties and their respective rogues galleries are largely to thank for that. They have the most iconic villains in the comic world, and more than a few of those familiar faces show up in full-force in this metaphysical Monster Mash. Pair that with inventive animation, a catchy soundtrack, and Nic Cage’s best performance (and role) of the 2010s and you can see why it’s the best Spidey film. 


9. Batman Returns

It’s more of a Burton film than the first one, and yet it’s more of a Batman film, too. The twisty plotting and tragic themes are immediately recognizable to anyone familiar with the canon (particularly the 80s and 90s canon), but more than that: its quasi-controversial re-interpretation of the villains is very much in the spirit of the comics, which have a long, rich history of illustrators and writers taking artistic liberties with aesthetics and lore. Also, the impact Pfeiffer’s Catwoman had on my sexuality cannot be understated.


8. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

If I’d made this list in 2017 this one woulda been higher, so my impulse is to unpack why it fell, but instead I’ll think back on why I loved it so much initially (and still dig it now). Mainly, I prefer my superhero movies (or movies in general) with as little plot as possible - this is a big ask for a genre whose appeal and financial success hinge on twists and reveals and continuity, but I’m willing to take what I can get when I can get it. With James Gunn at the helm, I expected to get from the first Guardians what I ultimately got from its sequel, which is: loveable weirdos relating to one another in funny, poignant ways, unencumbered by plot mechanics. 


7. Logan

When the trailer first dropped, featuring Johnny Cash’s “Hurt,” I nearly dismissed it outright. To this day, I’m still amazed that the movie itself was able to pull off a tone that a 2 minute trailer couldn’t. It’s not my favorite Mangold film, but it’s probably the strongest testament to his proficiency as a filmmaker. That said, if you look at it too closely it can seem a bit silly - especially considering what hokey adventures these particular characters have had together. It’s better to look at it as a ‘realistic’ Mad Max-style road movie in the spirit of Terminator 2. And like Dark Knight, it’s proof that superhero movies can aim for melodramatic highs and hit their mark with a straight face.    


6. The Dark Knight

Maybe I’d be better off if this film never happened. Maybe we’d all be better off, including Chris. It came too close to greatness to not be great, and yet it isn’t. Never in my entire life have I argued so much about a particular franchise. Whatever Nolan lacks as an artist, he’ll always have that: my attention.

Speaking now as a Batman fan, it’s still the best representation of the character in film (good luck, Matt). And yes, it’s better than The Animated Series as well, because as great a show as that was, its demographic put a ceiling on its tonal ambitions. Nothing in that show or any other Batman media impacted me like the last ten minutes of this. Its legacy might belong to Heath Ledger, but its greatest scene belongs to Aaron Eckhart. 


5. Glass

“Like a comic book” is a tough thing to define, so I won’t try to, but whatever it means, this movie pulls it off better than Unbreakable or Split, and that isn’t necessarily a criticism of either of those films - this indefinable quality serves only to help prop up some messy, plotty Horde/Glass/Overseer fanfiction written by their biggest fan: M. Night Shyamalan. 

I wasn’t the first one to say it and I won’t be the last: this works better as a Split sequel than as an Unbreakable sequel, and I like Split more than Unbreakable (spoilers!) so that earns its sequel a spot in the top 5 (barely).


4. X-Men: First Class

Once again, “like a comic book” is tough to define. Based on my own interpretation, this is, unquestionably, the most comic book-y movie I’ve ever seen.
More specifically (and articulately), it succeeds for me because, of all the X-Men movies, this one most closely resembles the animated series, my childhood introduction to the characters. 

The dialogue and visual FX are a bit hokey at times (the former of which, incidentally, contributes to its ‘comic book’ quality), but the period elements and cast carry it over the finish line - McAvoy, Fassbender, and Bacon, in particular, make for possibly the most dynamic triad in the whole history of the genre -- more than Batman-Harvey-Joker or Overseer-Horde-Glass. 


3. Unbreakable

It’s on everyone’s list, and rightfully so. To this day, it remains the most artful and visually stunning superhero movie ever made (by a pretty wide margin), and long before the “dark, gritty superhero” boom of the modern era, M. Night pushed “realism” in the genre to its absolute limits and ended up doing for comic book movies what Exorcist did for supernatural horror.


2. Split

As cutting-edge as Unbreakable was, I’ll posit that it may’ve been a little too arthouse for its own good - it belongs in a museum, not a DVD rack. Split, by contrast, is a full tilt nailbiter. And smartly, this “origin story” isn’t so much about the origin of a villain as it is about the origin of a villain’s modus operandi, which is more captivating than tracing somebody’s emotional journey. But, to that point, it even manages to get the psychology right thanks to McAvoy’s performance (which towers above the whole trilogy) and a sparing, effective use of tense flashbacks. It’s what I wish Joker was. Hell, it’s what I wish Unbreakable was, too. 


1. Shazam!

It’s a lotta things at once: old school buddy comedy, Big with superheroes, demonic possession film featuring Todd McFarlane-esque demons (w/ exceptional VFX), and one of the 2010s’ only seasonal/Christmas movies alongside Krampus. It improves upon everything Raimi was doing, yet the only ‘gimmicks’ it employs are tastefully discrete throwback vibes. Mostly, though, it’s a sandbox for Zachary Levi and Jack Dylan Grazer to showcase their unbeatable chemistry.

It broke DC’s losing streak by supposedly “copying the Marvel formula,” but if anything, it’s exactly what DC has tried to be all along: mood-driven and chic. The only thing that changed was finesse.

At the end of the day, like a lot of other tentpole properties, the pathos of superhero movies has always belonged to the kids (or ‘the young at heart,’ if you’re looking for more PC verbiage), so this is exactly where the genre belongs: in the realm of artful, well-crafted kids movies, which are nearly extinct nowadays.


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