Movies Don't Interrupt You So Don't Interrupt Them

TALKING IN THEATRES
Just last weekend, I was at a screening of Iron Man 2 at Loews Theatres in Crestwood, IL. Two people in their 50's that sat behind me and would not stop talking. One would think they would be mature enough not to talk during a film but these people were absolutely ridiculous. The words "I'm gonna get laid" were said in the film and the woman in the audience said "Uh-Oh". Grow up please. It's an occurence that has happened to me all too often and I have had enough. Talking in movie theatres is a big pet peeve of mine and I'm sure it is for anyone else who goes to the movies to actually watch the film as opposed to use it as an excuse to talk to their friends.

Then there's the person who has to have his insights heard because he thinks he is one step ahead of the film he is watching. This might come as a surprise to those people, but the audience around you does not care what your insights are.

CELLPHONES

It doesn't fail to amuse me that we as a society still have not grown up to point of respecting the people around us. Beyond people just talking, it's the cellphones that they whip out on numerous occasions to text their friend what they are seeing on screen at the moment or what film they are watching. In this day and age you can use your cell phone anywhere you want. Just DON'T use it in the movie theater! I can understand if the phone rings on accident. If it does, then just grab it and mute it and talk to the person after the movie is over.

OK BILLY, ARE YOU READY TO SEE SOME GRATUITOUS SEX AND VIOLENCE
I watched lots of R rated movies at the age of 8. This was because I saw these film at home. I turned out just fine. But when I see a parent bring a toddler to an R rated film I can't help but feel unease. Another thing that is completely over my head is how a person can bring a baby to a film. I haven't have kids yet, but if I did, I certainly wouldn't bring them to see a film like Watchmen or Inglourious Basterds. There is no valid reason to bring a baby to see those films. Not only are you being irresponsible as a parent, you obviously do not care how much graphic violence and nudity your kid sees at such a young age.

There has to be a line drawn somewhere. If you take a kid to see Requiem For A Dream or Antichrist you should be shamed publicly. You are a terrible parent if you take your kids to see these movies.

OH CRAP, DID I JUST SEE SOMEONE BRING IN A CARRIAGE?!
Beyond the film's rating being PG or R, a baby in the theater can be just plain annoying. Whenever I see the stroller or carriage being brought into the movie I instantly tense up and hope the parents don't sit anywhere in proximity by me. If a baby begins screaming in the theater, a parent should do what they should have done in the first place: go home and rent a movie instead.

WHEN BEING A HERO IN THE THEATER GOES BAD

In an age where people are getting stabbed and shot for talking in theaters I find it hard to even turn around and tell the people talking behind me to "Please stop talking." It all depends on the person you are saying this to. If you decide to say "Stop talking please" or "can you keep your baby quiet" to the wrong person, chances are you will be taken out of the theater on a stretcher. You may also have the case where the person says "You can't tell me what to do! I paid my ticket I can do what I want!" You want to fight rudeness with kindness. Saying "Shut the fuck up" will only invoke a hostile response.

If you see a teen couple making out, try staring at them intently like a creep. See how they respond. It's a non evasive way to diffuse the situation. Throw in a couple gasps.

But in all seriousness, even when you ask an usher about a man talking, the usher can sometimes be useless. Ushers in theaters need to be trained and paid like bouncers. If you have a bad moviegoing experience, I think it would be good to have theatre management at least give you a free movie pass in the future.

Humanity is a jungle. People think they can do whatever they want in a movie theatre. From the stories that I've heard, it doesn't even matter if you are a manager. You will still be cussed out for telling a father to hush his child during a movie.

When it all comes down to it, the thing missing at the movie theater the most is common courtesy. Not just to the audience but to the people who busted their asses to bring the film you are watching to you. When a film ends there are usually 5 minutes of credits. It goes to show how many people worked on the film you are watching and sacrifices they made to make it. It's bad enough paying $10 for a film. We now have to sit in a theatre and hope that there are no obnoxious people around us.

For those who read this blog I would like to hear some of your movie going experiences and how you were affected by situations like this.